Moon-lines and Apple-pathways

Ok, so...tomorrow is my LAST DAY OF UNDERGRADUATE STUDIES EVER! It has been a 10 year odyssey to get this degree. You don't even want to know all of the detours and obstacles along the way. (It hasn't been ten continuous years, I should mention. Also, I am graduating with more than a FULL YEAR'S worth of extra credits. UGH!)

Tomorrow, I turn in my final paper, take two exams, and then that's it. I am graduated! I am flung out into the wide world where I must try to make my way as best I can. (OH GOD, I'M SCARED! Hold me???)

At the very least, I'll have loads more time to waste, so expect me to be EVEN MORE ever-present than I am now. I'll be finishing up all the fic commitments I've made, and then hopefully working on other projects I've wanted to have time for.

So...who wants to party with me? *hopeful smile*

As I might have mentioned, the topic of my research paper is how the proliferation of the internet has impacted people's sexuality and sexual behavior. In order to come up with research articles, I spent a lot of time searching various sex-related journals for use of the word "internet". (This was the best method I found; all attempts to narrow or focus my search ended with no results.) Since my search methods were less than precise, I've spent a lot of time browsing through unrelated journal articles. Combined with the research for my paper, I've learned a few things, namely:

• A LOT of scientists have studied the practice of condom-less sex among gay men. Seriously, during my research I thought about creating my own Research Paper Drinking Game where I would down a shot every time I came across the word "barebacking".
  
• "Autassassinophilia is a paraphilia (i.e. "fetish") in which a person is sexually aroused by the risk of being killed." I have no idea how to pronounce that.
  
• Social scientists REALLY enjoy coming up with cutesy article titles. Some of my favorite examples: “Signed, Sealed, Delivered ... I’m Yours”: Calibrating Body Ownership through the Consensual Mastery/slavery Dynamic; the elegantly simple Hey stud: Race, sex, and sports; and the enigmatic Silver 'porn bullet' for information technology industry?
  
• Studies regarding the use of pornography and other sexually explicit materials are still disturbingly biased toward male use.
  
• Apparently sex, and especially porn, is bad, yo. Not all of the research agrees, but man: it is difficult to find good, comprehensive research that focuses on normal, healthy, positive sexuality.
  

More or less, that is. Well, not really...but I am seriously sick of being sick.

This cold or whatever it is is working totally backwards. My colds usually progress in a predictable linear fashion: sore throat, stuffy/runny nose, cough. This one started with cough, and is now working its way through "head full of snot" with the sore throat phase beginning tonight at work. Oh, and last night I had a coughing fit that lasted for about 20 minutes. My cat kept coming back to check and see if I was done so she could eat her food in peace.

Since I feel like a pile of sludge, I've made an extra effort to look nice at work, to distract everyone from the fact that I appear to be carrying The Plague. (Have you ever seen some dying of the Black Death in mascara? I don't think so!) "Never mind the horrific, hacking cough! My hair smells FANTASTIC!)

Whatevs.

Tomorrow I spend the entire day on campus and cap it all off with the Epic Three Hour Lecture of Suck. We should find out our grades from our second exam. I wonder what he'll do if a lot of people did poorly again. MAYBE THIS TIME HE WILL BUY EVERYONE A PONY!

My brain does many things well: sarcastic comments, fractions, and crossword puzzles being some of them. There are also things my brain just can't handle. For instance: chess. I cannot, for the life of me, play chess. Oh, I know the rules and how each piece moves, I'm not a drooling idiot: but when it comes to playing an actual game, I cannot capture even one of my opponent's pieces. Even when the computer is set to "Easy" or "Beginner."

You might say: "Oh, but Amy, you just need practice!" I don't think so. You see, not only am I terrible at chess: I can't handle CHECKERS. I might manage to scoop up a couple pieces my opponent sacrifices, but in the end I'm always crushed. And I've spent my life working with children and playing games with them. I have been well and truly beaten by a five year old. Somehow, no matter how hard I try to concentrate on the whole game and think one or two moves ahead, I end up setting myself up for one of those embarrassing plays where my opponent jumps six or seven of my checkers at once.

And yet I'm unbeatable at Connect Four.

Another thing my brain doesn't do so well? Directions.

It's not that I can't read a map. I am awesome at reading maps. It's not that I can't follow directions. I can follow directions! It's just when it comes to making a mental picture in my head of how roads link up and which go where and whatnot, I am HORRIBLE.

I've always maintained I'm much more a verbal than visual person. Yet, I can look at a map detailing a route for 20 seconds and remember it for the rest of the day. It's something to do with my spatial reasoning, I'm sure of it! Even if you asked me to give you directions from my house to my work (which I could drive in my sleep) I'd get half of it wrong. I'd remember the main highways and most of the exits, but the little turns and sidestreets I can't picture until I see them.

People ask questions like: "Is it the third exit?" or "Is it next to the Taco Bell?" and I have no idea, because I don't notice things unless I'm looking for them. I can visit a store a dozen times without ever noticing what it's next to. I might know there's a bank on the corner, but I probably couldn't tell you which one. How many houses from the corner is the student co-op I used to live in? *shrugs*

All of that explanation is leading up to this: there was an accident on my usual route to school this morning. I decided, instead of slogging through it, to go another way. Bad idea. Of course, I didn't know it was a bad idea. In my head I knew this one highway linked up with another.

What I did NOT know was that they linked up much further west than I needed to go. Since I thought I knew where I was going, and I'm used to not recognizing my surroundings, it took me FOREVER to realize I had gone out of my way. I called my mother so she could look up on a map where I was, and I was 25 minutes late to class.

No, I'm sorry: 25 minutes late TO MY EXAM.

It's not that big of a deal. I'm taking a makeup on Wednesday.

When I came home for lunch before work, my mother asked, "Weren't you anxious?"

I said, "No, I knew she would give me a makeup."

And she clarified, "No, about being lost: I get so anxious when I don't know where I am. Weren't you nervous?"

I thought about it. "Mmm...not really. I get lost all the time. I'm kinda used to it."

That's me in a nutshell, folks!

Just got this in my inbox:

Timely Warning to the Community

Reported Crime: Attempted Carjacking / Unarmed Robbery

At approximately 8:30 p.m. tonight in the Oakwood Guest Parking Lot, a female EMU student, reported that she was approached by two males on foot as she was sitting in her vehicle. The first male approached the victim and demanded her vehicle. The second male stood on the passenger side of her vehicle. When the victim advised she was not giving him her vehicle, the suspect pulled her from the vehicle. After a brief struggle, the suspect got into the victim’s vehicle and tried to start it. The victim struggled with the suspect some more and then started screaming for help. Two witnesses approached the victim and the suspects fled on foot. The suspects fled in a southwesterly direction from the lot. The victim’s backpack was stolen by the suspects.

So, basically I get an email like this just about every week. There is A LOT of crime that takes place on campus, which is just spiffy. (And nothing new to me; I lived in the city where my uni's located for two and a half years, and there were cops and drug raids at my building on a pretty regular basis.)

What I find most ridiculous about the whole situation is the email's subject: A Timely Warning to the Community. It just sounds so quaint, like they're going to apprise us of a change in parking restrictions for an upcoming parade.

I didn't go into work today, because it's a slow time of year for us, and I don't have enough students on Thursdays. It's nice to have a day off, but I really need the money! Things really need to pick up soon, and I need to get some more high-paying private students.

Instead of spending my day off productively, doing homework, laundry, planning for this dinner party I'm supposed to be hosting this weekend, and a million other things I need to do, I have spent it shopping and surfing the internet. I finally bought some bras that fit properly (that I tried on before buying), so that was good, but then I also bought "jeggings" (jean leggings. I know, the name irritates me, too.), which is bad, because I don't necessarily need them. (But they do look hot under my boots, so...)

Last night I had a dream where I was in a class, and there were a couple people at the back of the room being rude and talking. The lecturer was just ignoring them, so in the middle of his Power Point presentation I just stood up and shouted at them: "COULD YOU JUST SHUT UP PLEASE!" Then I offered to go out in the hall with the guy and fight him. He didn't take me up on it. (He could sense I'm a badass, oh yeah!)

The teacher wanted to talk to me after class, and I was forced to admit that I might have overreacted just a tiny little bit. I said, "I was just really frustrated." He said, "Yes, well it's not your job to monitor the class." I said, "I know, that's why I was frustrated: you should have done it!"

Even in my dreams I have no tact.

Link to my Sherlock fan mix is here.

( Book Meme Day 08 )