Moon-lines and Apple-pathways

Last night I told an intruding stranger to piss off (in politer terms than that) when he decided to come up to my friend in a restaurant and tell her how to handle her dog. Thank you, Cesar Fucking Milan, but we're not interested in your lecture course. I just hate blowhard men who think everyone's just dying to hear their expert opinion on absolutely everything. (When he lit up a cigarette, I was oh so sorely tempted to offer him some free condescension advice on how he should quit.)

(For what it's worth, it's not my friend's dog: she's watching it for a couple months. She has no experience with dogs, and I knew it was a bad idea to bring it to the restaurant. After I scared off the Dog Whisperer, she drove the little yapper home so everyone could eat in peace.)

We've started buying annuals for the house. My mom is crazy into container gardening, and loves making elaborate pots for the patio. Me, I'm much more into the herbs and vegetables: the stuff that's ugly, but useful! I bought a little four pack of dill.

I'm going to get the rest of the herbs I need when we go out to Eastern Market tomorrow. It's a huge farmer's market in downtown Detroit, and it is SO MUCH FUN! The market itself is full of about 5 tents worth of vendors, and the area is surrounded by fun shops and yummy restaurants. There's outdoor BBQ and street performers, and it's just a good time! I like looking for unusual mint varieties to plant and dry for tea. Last year I had chocolate, orange, lemon, apple, peppermint, and Kentucky Colonel Mint, which is a spearmint variety: it's GORGEOUS, and smells OH SO good! Very delicious for mojitos and other mixed drinks: I like a sprig in my vodka lemonade.

My father and I have started making plans to build trellises for my pumpkins, melons, and squash. We went out to Lowe's to look at wood and do some pricing, and the man who worked there was actually able to talk to me about what I needed as if I were a competent, thinking adult! HOORAY for restoring my faith in men, Random Lowe's Employee! ♥

Happy weekend, y'all. What's up with you?

I want one of those rubber message bracelets that says, "CTFO". It's a message that people need to hear.

To the mother who sends weekly email updates about which multiplication problems her eight year old has been missing on his assignments: CTFO.

To the father who brought in a six page printout of his son's quarterly math skills evaluation that I guess I'm just supposed to read in my spare time: CTFO.

To the kids who can't remember to raise their hands rather than shouting my name across the room: CTFO. (Also: I am CHANGING MY NAME and not telling you what the new one is!)

To the obnoxious drivers who need to cut me off in traffic in order to be just one car length closer to the light at the intersection. To the over-caffeinated yuppies who race me to the door at Starbucks and then let it slam in my face. To the "wacky" cashier at the grocery store who calls me by my first name, criticizes my choice of beverage, and then says "Toodles!" when I leave. And, finally: to myself. This is the kind of crap that life is made of, and you don't normally let it bother you.

C.T.F.O!

ETA: Chill The Fuck Out :P