It's time to leave my bank.
Jul. 21st, 2011 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apple_pathwaysIs there a national Punch a Banker In the Face Day? (And if not, can it be today?)
So, my personal funds have dwindled rather low lately. For a while, I had a tiny cushion of money from my savings that I could use to cover any surprise expenses, but that cushion has completely deflated.
Despite being very, very careful about the money I spend, I managed to overdraw my checking account this month while waiting for my paycheck to clear. Overdrawn about $5.00. Of course, by the time the bank was done with me, they'd managed to charge me 3 overdraft fees of $37.00 each.
So, I started off talking with Becky, a desk jockey at the branch. I don't know what her official title was, but I do know that her job is to print out pieces of paper and underline things in pen and patiently explain to me how this would not have happened were I not a degenerate deadbeat. Also, the chain of events that led to me being charged $111.00 in fees for overdrawing my account by $5.00 is COMPLETELY clear and understandable, even though she had to disappear to speak to her supervisor for 15 minutes in order to get it straight herself.
Really, she was very nice. I know she's just doing her job, and that it sucks to have to speak to scary, angry people. And I try not to be a scary, angry person, but I've been told that I can be one. I don't get mean, or yell, or do anything like that: I just won't back down when I think you're feeding me a load of horseshit.
For instance, in their Standard Overdraft Protections they state that "1 Overdraft Day" is a $22.00 fine per item, and "2 or more Overdraft Days" is a $37.00 fine per item. I pointed out that my account was only overdrawn for one day, and therefore I should have been charged the $22.00 per item rate and not the $37.00 per item rate. We then had this conversation:
Becky: No, you're charged $22.00 the first time you overdraw your account, and you had an overdraft fee last November.
Me: But it doesn't say that. It says that "1 Overdraft Day" is $22.00, it doesn't say that's only the very first time you overdraw your account.
Becky: I can show you the wording in my big book of regulations...
Me: But I didn't sign your big book of regulations! I signed this little piece of paper that says 1 day overdraft is a $22.00 fine!
Becky: *stares at me in fear*
That's when I asked to speak to her manager again. (I'd asked before, but she avoided my request.) I don't like to spend my time arguing with people who don't have the authority to do anything: it's unfair to them as well as me. (And I've been that person before, trust me: I know how not fun it is!)
So I sat around and waited for Scott, who was a douchebag. He started ranting about "Reg E", which is the new law governing overdraft regulations, and how the bank didn't want it and...
I DON'T CARE! Christ, get some counseling, and let's get back to me and my pathetic bank account.
He gave me a snowjob and talked down to me while I tried my best not to punch him in the face. Turns out, he can't do a damn thing for me either! The bank has changed their practices so that your local branch no longer has any authority to actually do anything themselves. You have to call an 800 number and talk to some other suicidal wage slave whose job it is to apologize a lot and quote at you out of the Big Book of Rules until one of you breaks down and starts crying. Then you have to bully them into consulting someone who actually does have the authority to get things done, which takes about an hour and a half, because phone service to the concrete bunker out in the hollowed-out mountain where such people work is patchy, and the higher-ups are all OUT TO LUNCH anyway, because it makes so much goddamn sense to be away from your desk and unavailable in the middle of the day when the little people are trying their best to cram their banking and a trip to Subway into their measly half hour lunchbreak!
I have no idea if most of that rant made sense, which means it's now time for me to move on.
So, the Patronizing Git told me they'd send in a request to the Mountain Fortress to have my fees reduced, and the Well-Meaning-But-Useless Girl offered to call me once they get a decision.
Fortunately, I will be spending the evening tonight with friends where I will be able to drown my frustrations in wine and cheese. Huzzah!
ETA: What do you know? As I was writing this entry, I got an email from my Jessica. She's a close friend of mine from college, and is now an attorney living in Santa Monica. She's visiting Michigan next month for her birthday, and her email suggested going to The Whitney for dinner. (She also said "I know it's not cheap, so it's no worries if we need to find something a little less expensive, but I think it would probably be worth the experience and ambiance.") Now: do I suck it up, save up some money, go and order the cheapest entree (roasted zucchini, $19) OR plead my poverty and wonder if she wouldn't mind choosing something a little cheaper?
I think I need to calm down from my Bank Rage before making a decision. :P
UPDATE! Also ETA: The bank called back, and they are refunding me $52.00. Why that amount? I have no idea--I just took it an ran! I'd go out and celebrate, but then: they're just giving me back money that was mine to begin with and they had no right to in the first place. :/
So, my personal funds have dwindled rather low lately. For a while, I had a tiny cushion of money from my savings that I could use to cover any surprise expenses, but that cushion has completely deflated.
Despite being very, very careful about the money I spend, I managed to overdraw my checking account this month while waiting for my paycheck to clear. Overdrawn about $5.00. Of course, by the time the bank was done with me, they'd managed to charge me 3 overdraft fees of $37.00 each.
So, I started off talking with Becky, a desk jockey at the branch. I don't know what her official title was, but I do know that her job is to print out pieces of paper and underline things in pen and patiently explain to me how this would not have happened were I not a degenerate deadbeat. Also, the chain of events that led to me being charged $111.00 in fees for overdrawing my account by $5.00 is COMPLETELY clear and understandable, even though she had to disappear to speak to her supervisor for 15 minutes in order to get it straight herself.
Really, she was very nice. I know she's just doing her job, and that it sucks to have to speak to scary, angry people. And I try not to be a scary, angry person, but I've been told that I can be one. I don't get mean, or yell, or do anything like that: I just won't back down when I think you're feeding me a load of horseshit.
For instance, in their Standard Overdraft Protections they state that "1 Overdraft Day" is a $22.00 fine per item, and "2 or more Overdraft Days" is a $37.00 fine per item. I pointed out that my account was only overdrawn for one day, and therefore I should have been charged the $22.00 per item rate and not the $37.00 per item rate. We then had this conversation:
Becky: No, you're charged $22.00 the first time you overdraw your account, and you had an overdraft fee last November.
Me: But it doesn't say that. It says that "1 Overdraft Day" is $22.00, it doesn't say that's only the very first time you overdraw your account.
Becky: I can show you the wording in my big book of regulations...
Me: But I didn't sign your big book of regulations! I signed this little piece of paper that says 1 day overdraft is a $22.00 fine!
Becky: *stares at me in fear*
That's when I asked to speak to her manager again. (I'd asked before, but she avoided my request.) I don't like to spend my time arguing with people who don't have the authority to do anything: it's unfair to them as well as me. (And I've been that person before, trust me: I know how not fun it is!)
So I sat around and waited for Scott, who was a douchebag. He started ranting about "Reg E", which is the new law governing overdraft regulations, and how the bank didn't want it and...
I DON'T CARE! Christ, get some counseling, and let's get back to me and my pathetic bank account.
He gave me a snowjob and talked down to me while I tried my best not to punch him in the face. Turns out, he can't do a damn thing for me either! The bank has changed their practices so that your local branch no longer has any authority to actually do anything themselves. You have to call an 800 number and talk to some other suicidal wage slave whose job it is to apologize a lot and quote at you out of the Big Book of Rules until one of you breaks down and starts crying. Then you have to bully them into consulting someone who actually does have the authority to get things done, which takes about an hour and a half, because phone service to the concrete bunker out in the hollowed-out mountain where such people work is patchy, and the higher-ups are all OUT TO LUNCH anyway, because it makes so much goddamn sense to be away from your desk and unavailable in the middle of the day when the little people are trying their best to cram their banking and a trip to Subway into their measly half hour lunchbreak!
I have no idea if most of that rant made sense, which means it's now time for me to move on.
So, the Patronizing Git told me they'd send in a request to the Mountain Fortress to have my fees reduced, and the Well-Meaning-But-Useless Girl offered to call me once they get a decision.
Fortunately, I will be spending the evening tonight with friends where I will be able to drown my frustrations in wine and cheese. Huzzah!
ETA: What do you know? As I was writing this entry, I got an email from my Jessica. She's a close friend of mine from college, and is now an attorney living in Santa Monica. She's visiting Michigan next month for her birthday, and her email suggested going to The Whitney for dinner. (She also said "I know it's not cheap, so it's no worries if we need to find something a little less expensive, but I think it would probably be worth the experience and ambiance.") Now: do I suck it up, save up some money, go and order the cheapest entree (roasted zucchini, $19) OR plead my poverty and wonder if she wouldn't mind choosing something a little cheaper?
I think I need to calm down from my Bank Rage before making a decision. :P
UPDATE! Also ETA: The bank called back, and they are refunding me $52.00. Why that amount? I have no idea--I just took it an ran! I'd go out and celebrate, but then: they're just giving me back money that was mine to begin with and they had no right to in the first place. :/
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no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 06:41 am (UTC)I'm still incredibly mad about it, because I doubt the very little amount I was overdrawn put the bank out quite so much as to justify the fees they charged me.