It's time to leave my bank.
Jul. 21st, 2011 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apple_pathwaysIs there a national Punch a Banker In the Face Day? (And if not, can it be today?)
So, my personal funds have dwindled rather low lately. For a while, I had a tiny cushion of money from my savings that I could use to cover any surprise expenses, but that cushion has completely deflated.
Despite being very, very careful about the money I spend, I managed to overdraw my checking account this month while waiting for my paycheck to clear. Overdrawn about $5.00. Of course, by the time the bank was done with me, they'd managed to charge me 3 overdraft fees of $37.00 each.
So, I started off talking with Becky, a desk jockey at the branch. I don't know what her official title was, but I do know that her job is to print out pieces of paper and underline things in pen and patiently explain to me how this would not have happened were I not a degenerate deadbeat. Also, the chain of events that led to me being charged $111.00 in fees for overdrawing my account by $5.00 is COMPLETELY clear and understandable, even though she had to disappear to speak to her supervisor for 15 minutes in order to get it straight herself.
Really, she was very nice. I know she's just doing her job, and that it sucks to have to speak to scary, angry people. And I try not to be a scary, angry person, but I've been told that I can be one. I don't get mean, or yell, or do anything like that: I just won't back down when I think you're feeding me a load of horseshit.
For instance, in their Standard Overdraft Protections they state that "1 Overdraft Day" is a $22.00 fine per item, and "2 or more Overdraft Days" is a $37.00 fine per item. I pointed out that my account was only overdrawn for one day, and therefore I should have been charged the $22.00 per item rate and not the $37.00 per item rate. We then had this conversation:
Becky: No, you're charged $22.00 the first time you overdraw your account, and you had an overdraft fee last November.
Me: But it doesn't say that. It says that "1 Overdraft Day" is $22.00, it doesn't say that's only the very first time you overdraw your account.
Becky: I can show you the wording in my big book of regulations...
Me: But I didn't sign your big book of regulations! I signed this little piece of paper that says 1 day overdraft is a $22.00 fine!
Becky: *stares at me in fear*
That's when I asked to speak to her manager again. (I'd asked before, but she avoided my request.) I don't like to spend my time arguing with people who don't have the authority to do anything: it's unfair to them as well as me. (And I've been that person before, trust me: I know how not fun it is!)
So I sat around and waited for Scott, who was a douchebag. He started ranting about "Reg E", which is the new law governing overdraft regulations, and how the bank didn't want it and...
I DON'T CARE! Christ, get some counseling, and let's get back to me and my pathetic bank account.
He gave me a snowjob and talked down to me while I tried my best not to punch him in the face. Turns out, he can't do a damn thing for me either! The bank has changed their practices so that your local branch no longer has any authority to actually do anything themselves. You have to call an 800 number and talk to some other suicidal wage slave whose job it is to apologize a lot and quote at you out of the Big Book of Rules until one of you breaks down and starts crying. Then you have to bully them into consulting someone who actually does have the authority to get things done, which takes about an hour and a half, because phone service to the concrete bunker out in the hollowed-out mountain where such people work is patchy, and the higher-ups are all OUT TO LUNCH anyway, because it makes so much goddamn sense to be away from your desk and unavailable in the middle of the day when the little people are trying their best to cram their banking and a trip to Subway into their measly half hour lunchbreak!
I have no idea if most of that rant made sense, which means it's now time for me to move on.
So, the Patronizing Git told me they'd send in a request to the Mountain Fortress to have my fees reduced, and the Well-Meaning-But-Useless Girl offered to call me once they get a decision.
Fortunately, I will be spending the evening tonight with friends where I will be able to drown my frustrations in wine and cheese. Huzzah!
ETA: What do you know? As I was writing this entry, I got an email from my Jessica. She's a close friend of mine from college, and is now an attorney living in Santa Monica. She's visiting Michigan next month for her birthday, and her email suggested going to The Whitney for dinner. (She also said "I know it's not cheap, so it's no worries if we need to find something a little less expensive, but I think it would probably be worth the experience and ambiance.") Now: do I suck it up, save up some money, go and order the cheapest entree (roasted zucchini, $19) OR plead my poverty and wonder if she wouldn't mind choosing something a little cheaper?
I think I need to calm down from my Bank Rage before making a decision. :P
UPDATE! Also ETA: The bank called back, and they are refunding me $52.00. Why that amount? I have no idea--I just took it an ran! I'd go out and celebrate, but then: they're just giving me back money that was mine to begin with and they had no right to in the first place. :/
So, my personal funds have dwindled rather low lately. For a while, I had a tiny cushion of money from my savings that I could use to cover any surprise expenses, but that cushion has completely deflated.
Despite being very, very careful about the money I spend, I managed to overdraw my checking account this month while waiting for my paycheck to clear. Overdrawn about $5.00. Of course, by the time the bank was done with me, they'd managed to charge me 3 overdraft fees of $37.00 each.
So, I started off talking with Becky, a desk jockey at the branch. I don't know what her official title was, but I do know that her job is to print out pieces of paper and underline things in pen and patiently explain to me how this would not have happened were I not a degenerate deadbeat. Also, the chain of events that led to me being charged $111.00 in fees for overdrawing my account by $5.00 is COMPLETELY clear and understandable, even though she had to disappear to speak to her supervisor for 15 minutes in order to get it straight herself.
Really, she was very nice. I know she's just doing her job, and that it sucks to have to speak to scary, angry people. And I try not to be a scary, angry person, but I've been told that I can be one. I don't get mean, or yell, or do anything like that: I just won't back down when I think you're feeding me a load of horseshit.
For instance, in their Standard Overdraft Protections they state that "1 Overdraft Day" is a $22.00 fine per item, and "2 or more Overdraft Days" is a $37.00 fine per item. I pointed out that my account was only overdrawn for one day, and therefore I should have been charged the $22.00 per item rate and not the $37.00 per item rate. We then had this conversation:
Becky: No, you're charged $22.00 the first time you overdraw your account, and you had an overdraft fee last November.
Me: But it doesn't say that. It says that "1 Overdraft Day" is $22.00, it doesn't say that's only the very first time you overdraw your account.
Becky: I can show you the wording in my big book of regulations...
Me: But I didn't sign your big book of regulations! I signed this little piece of paper that says 1 day overdraft is a $22.00 fine!
Becky: *stares at me in fear*
That's when I asked to speak to her manager again. (I'd asked before, but she avoided my request.) I don't like to spend my time arguing with people who don't have the authority to do anything: it's unfair to them as well as me. (And I've been that person before, trust me: I know how not fun it is!)
So I sat around and waited for Scott, who was a douchebag. He started ranting about "Reg E", which is the new law governing overdraft regulations, and how the bank didn't want it and...
I DON'T CARE! Christ, get some counseling, and let's get back to me and my pathetic bank account.
He gave me a snowjob and talked down to me while I tried my best not to punch him in the face. Turns out, he can't do a damn thing for me either! The bank has changed their practices so that your local branch no longer has any authority to actually do anything themselves. You have to call an 800 number and talk to some other suicidal wage slave whose job it is to apologize a lot and quote at you out of the Big Book of Rules until one of you breaks down and starts crying. Then you have to bully them into consulting someone who actually does have the authority to get things done, which takes about an hour and a half, because phone service to the concrete bunker out in the hollowed-out mountain where such people work is patchy, and the higher-ups are all OUT TO LUNCH anyway, because it makes so much goddamn sense to be away from your desk and unavailable in the middle of the day when the little people are trying their best to cram their banking and a trip to Subway into their measly half hour lunchbreak!
I have no idea if most of that rant made sense, which means it's now time for me to move on.
So, the Patronizing Git told me they'd send in a request to the Mountain Fortress to have my fees reduced, and the Well-Meaning-But-Useless Girl offered to call me once they get a decision.
Fortunately, I will be spending the evening tonight with friends where I will be able to drown my frustrations in wine and cheese. Huzzah!
ETA: What do you know? As I was writing this entry, I got an email from my Jessica. She's a close friend of mine from college, and is now an attorney living in Santa Monica. She's visiting Michigan next month for her birthday, and her email suggested going to The Whitney for dinner. (She also said "I know it's not cheap, so it's no worries if we need to find something a little less expensive, but I think it would probably be worth the experience and ambiance.") Now: do I suck it up, save up some money, go and order the cheapest entree (roasted zucchini, $19) OR plead my poverty and wonder if she wouldn't mind choosing something a little cheaper?
I think I need to calm down from my Bank Rage before making a decision. :P
UPDATE! Also ETA: The bank called back, and they are refunding me $52.00. Why that amount? I have no idea--I just took it an ran! I'd go out and celebrate, but then: they're just giving me back money that was mine to begin with and they had no right to in the first place. :/
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no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 05:03 pm (UTC)Good on you for arguing, though.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 05:28 pm (UTC)Well, at least they're giving me half that money back!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 05:41 pm (UTC)I'd plead poverty and ask friend to choose somewhere cheaper until next time. That is generally my default setting, however. I do expensive dinners about once a year.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 06:08 pm (UTC)It would, actually. If the opportunity should arise: go for it! :P
I might plead poverty, but it's not just the two of us going. I'll wait and see--I might be able to scrounge up the extra cash by then. (And it would be a special occasion for me, as she's one of my best friends, and I haven't seen her in about two years.)
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 05:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 06:07 pm (UTC)Uh, no. I imagine you could get there somewhere, but not with my type of account. (i.e. Not with how little money I have!) I could set up a plan where, if I overdraw my checking, they would take the money out of my savings but a. my 'savings' are really only theoretical at this point and b. it's not free: I would pay a fee per year for that service. I could get a 'line of credit' with the bank, but that's also a fee per year and a $10.00 charge per overdraft.
Instead, I have "opted out" of their overdraft protections, which means if I accidentally overdraw my account again, the transaction will merely be declined.
£1000? Without penalty? WOW!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 06:21 pm (UTC)Yeah, my current account came with an automatic £200 overdraft facility, but I extended it to £1000 when I was a student. Not because I need it, but because if I can have it I might as well!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 06:45 am (UTC)I cannot imagine overdrawing my account $100.00 USD, let alone £1000!
After this incident, I am definitely closing my bank account and moving to a credit union, which...is a distinction I'm too tired to explain at the moment! But suffice to say: more humane treatment and more personal service.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 06:27 pm (UTC)unhelpfullysay the same thing because I can go over £750 without penalty since that's my arranged level of financial mishappery. Penny over that and I'm SCREWED with fees but, you know, safety net.I'm glad you got some of it back, anwyay ♥.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 06:46 am (UTC)I am most definitely glad to get some of the money back, but I do think I've learned my lesson: fuck the banks, I am switching to a credit union!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 08:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 05:48 pm (UTC)BUT, I know the pain of which you speak! It took me two hours to get out of a mobile phone contract I wasn't actually on two weeks back. No amount of 'this is a two year contract and I have been with you for five, clearly I am no longer locked in to it' was getting through until I threatened to go to the telecommunications ombudsman. Then, magically, I wasn't on a contract! Fancy that :/
Glad you got the money back. Or some of the money back. Money, anyway!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 06:12 pm (UTC)I need to leave my bank and sign up with a credit union. They're not magical, by any means, but they treat you a lot better than banks do!
Ugh, I hate arguing with these people! Especially Dickhead Scott, who kept going back to that $22.00 vs. $37.00 overdraft policy. Look, dude: I know what you want that piece of paper to say, but I am telling you what it actually says!
And cell phone companies are right up there with banks, as far as I can tell. Fortunately my dad worked in communications and we get a discount with one of them.
I am still working on your "unfettered joy" prompt: I may just need a day!
no subject
Date: 2011-07-21 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-22 06:41 am (UTC)I'm still incredibly mad about it, because I doubt the very little amount I was overdrawn put the bank out quite so much as to justify the fees they charged me.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-23 07:53 pm (UTC)It's all ridiculous and painful to deal with. Sigh.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 03:46 am (UTC)Blargh. Monthly service fees! Overdraft charges! Fees for checking! No wonder our country's economy is in the toilet. Conventional capitalist reasoning has always said that if you take care of the top 10%, the bottom 90% will benefit as well. Are we ready to admit now that that's BULLSHIT?!
/rage
no subject
Date: 2011-07-24 03:43 pm (UTC)The worst was feeling bad for the bank reps that their attempts at making me stay with them were failing - and then getting irritated that *I* had to feel bad for *them*. It's their bank's fault I was leaving the institution!
I'm dreading the day my new bank will start playing the same mindgames with me.