Must Love Spreadsheets

[apple_pathways]

(If I ever get around to joining a personals site, that's going to be my headline. rachel2205, my love, you put up with so much! :P xx)

Spring Into Sherlock over at sherlockmas is going well! *knock wood* The submissions are rolling in, and I've managed to design things in a way that I don't have to threaten to break any kneecaps if people don't come through with their commitments! (Though I may have threatened the lives of a few anonymous kittens. Hey, whatever works!)

Here's a conversation I had with two students tonight: (Isabelle is 10, Max is 13.)

Max (apropos of nothing): How do you think the world is going to end?
Me (unfazed): I think in a few hundred million years, the sun will expand, and...
Isabelle: You don't think the world will end in 2012?
Me: No...
Max: You don't think the world will end in a zombie apocalypse?
Me: I don't know...what if it did?
Max: I would hide out here! (Meaning the math center.)
Me (scoffing): Are you kidding me? Look at those big glass windows up front! The zombies would get right through that...
Isabelle: I'd hide in the prize case!
Max: I was going to say that!
Me: How would you even fit in there? Besides, it's made of clear glass...you guys really gotta work on your zombie survival plan!
Max: Well, then I'd hide in the trunk of your car!
Me: I don't know...I don't have a very big car.
Max: We'd drive over to Kroger (a grocery store), and eat a bunch of food!
Me: That could be a plan...I could die in a Kroger.

Sometimes, being a good tutor means teaching the kids about life, and not just about math. :P

Comments

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

I'm currently having the same sort of internal debate. It's a very practical thing, and yet... on principle I refuse to set foot in WalMarts. I guess it depends on whether they're shambling dead zombies or rage zombies. Rage zombies would die out in a couple of months at the most, once they all starved and ran out of people outside to infect. Shambling dead would be like a permanent fixture, in which case I'd probably have to sacrifice my morals. (The point is kind of moot, though, since Chicago doesn't have any WalMarts at all.)

Tangentially, are you familiar with the theory of placing treadmills around your fortifications so the zombies are always propelled backwards as they try to shamble toward you? An argument might be made for securing a gym, in that case. (Actually, I like the idea of everyone forming little specialized post-apocalypse zombie-free colonies in various stores and things. The micro-economy and trade would be kind of awesome. As would the grizzled old librarian with the shotgun that would inevitably be securing the entire library by her/himself.)

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

Fortunately, I believe I'll be spared the dilemma, as I have no idea where the closes Wal-Mart is, but I do live fairly close to a Meijer--same concept, less evil. Ostensibly. :P

I like the idea of everyone forming little specialized post-apocalypse zombie-free colonies in various stores and things.

I was thinking about this, too! How sabriel75 wanted the mall, and inkdancer prefers the bowling alley. I could imagine society being divided into clans, based on which groups were most fit to survive in which environments. I don't imagine the Whole Foods clan making it very far into the apocalypse, but I'm oddly Zen about that. (Fun fact: my dad is a nut, and a bit of a conspiracy buff. He and his friends have a contingency plan for the breakdown of society, where they'll meet with their guns and their supplies at a friend's property in the boondocks. I have informed him that if it comes to life on a compound with a bunch of right wing gun nuts, I'll choose death, thank you.)

However, my "interesting" upbringing does mean that I know my way around a hunting rifle. That's one useful skill that'll set me above the other hippie liberals when the zombies come!

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have this mental image of the Whole Foods set sitting in a circle arguing the most ethical way to kill a zombie. I think if I was going to hole up in a Whole Foods, I'd have to take the one in the South Loop here, since it's 1) close to the river, so there's easier transport and 2) there's a fitness center in the same building, so when we have the inevitable zombie ethics debate, I can have everyone haul the treadmills up the escalators and we'll give that theory a go. And then we'll all die, but at least we'll have a good story to tell. There's something kind of satisfying about weathering the zombie hordes in a Whole Foods. That or the Apple Store... if you're going to fail, you might as well go out flaunting the frilliest frills of civilization.

(... I kind of really want to write post-zombie-apocalypse micro-colony fiction now.)

[sabriel75.livejournal.com]

I support this writing goal and will offer suggestions too if you want the freak show variety type of ideas, of a sane individual with a completely irrational fear of zombies and thinks of escape plans often.