Moon-lines and Apple-pathways

Hi there! Long time no see. :D

Yeah, working with these two definitely ended my evening on a high note! There was one I taught earlier that I've been fantasizing about slapping... :P

From:

Duuuude! You need to school these kiddos in how to be prepared during a zombie apocalypse. They do not have a stinking clue!

Dying in a Kroger is SO NOT ON either. Get your priorities straight missy. If one must go, it should be at the mall!

From:

inkdancer.livejournal.com

I disagree. The bowling alley is where it's at. Food (the microwaveable kind that lasts forever), weaponry (bowling pins, balls, cleaning tools, and they never run out of ammo), and entertainment!

From:

I like your thinking! You just might make it, kid. ;)

From:

I dunno, I'd prefer not to go down eating microwaved food. I think I'd commandeer a grocery store and then force the better-prepared people to help fortify my defenses in exchange for rations. Plus, in a pinch, any store with a bakery is bound to have some decent industrial-sized melee weaponry in the form of giant bread hooks and rolling pins. And if you're really lucky maybe there's an on-site butcher.

...Though there would be something to be said for rigging up the ball return to fire bowling balls at the approaching zombie hordes. I'd definitely trade some canned food to be able to watch that.

From:

inkdancer.livejournal.com

I would definitely try to use the ball return as a cannon.

However, my boyfriend and I are now constructing a detailed plan for making our local WalMart into an impenetrable fortress. So far it seems pretty effective.

From:

Actually... come to think of it, zombie defense might be one of the best arguments in favor of WalMarts. They do have basically everything. Food, toiletries, clothes, some have guns... you'd be set.

From:

inkdancer.livejournal.com

We were discussing the finer points of bringing vegetables in from the garden section and using the friers from the internal McDonald's to make boiling oil traps over the front doors. WalMart will be the best place to hide.

From:

Oh man--if I hadn't spent such a significant portion of my life railing against the Evils of Wal-Mart, I could totally be down with this plan! But no matter how I die, I refuse to go ~ironically~. :P

From:

I'm currently having the same sort of internal debate. It's a very practical thing, and yet... on principle I refuse to set foot in WalMarts. I guess it depends on whether they're shambling dead zombies or rage zombies. Rage zombies would die out in a couple of months at the most, once they all starved and ran out of people outside to infect. Shambling dead would be like a permanent fixture, in which case I'd probably have to sacrifice my morals. (The point is kind of moot, though, since Chicago doesn't have any WalMarts at all.)

Tangentially, are you familiar with the theory of placing treadmills around your fortifications so the zombies are always propelled backwards as they try to shamble toward you? An argument might be made for securing a gym, in that case. (Actually, I like the idea of everyone forming little specialized post-apocalypse zombie-free colonies in various stores and things. The micro-economy and trade would be kind of awesome. As would the grizzled old librarian with the shotgun that would inevitably be securing the entire library by her/himself.)

From:

Fortunately, I believe I'll be spared the dilemma, as I have no idea where the closes Wal-Mart is, but I do live fairly close to a Meijer--same concept, less evil. Ostensibly. :P

I like the idea of everyone forming little specialized post-apocalypse zombie-free colonies in various stores and things.

I was thinking about this, too! How

sabriel75 wanted the mall, and

inkdancer prefers the bowling alley. I could imagine society being divided into clans, based on which groups were most fit to survive in which environments. I don't imagine the Whole Foods clan making it very far into the apocalypse, but I'm oddly Zen about that. (Fun fact: my dad is a nut, and a bit of a conspiracy buff. He and his friends have a contingency plan for the breakdown of society, where they'll meet with their guns and their supplies at a friend's property in the boondocks. I have informed him that if it comes to life on a compound with a bunch of right wing gun nuts, I'll choose death, thank you.)

However, my "interesting" upbringing does mean that I know my way around a hunting rifle. That's one useful skill that'll set me above the other hippie liberals when the zombies come!

From:

Yeah, I have this mental image of the Whole Foods set sitting in a circle arguing the most ethical way to kill a zombie. I think if I was going to hole up in a Whole Foods, I'd have to take the one in the South Loop here, since it's 1) close to the river, so there's easier transport and 2) there's a fitness center in the same building, so when we have the inevitable zombie ethics debate, I can have everyone haul the treadmills up the escalators and we'll give that theory a go. And then we'll all die, but at least we'll have a good story to tell. There's something kind of satisfying about weathering the zombie hordes in a Whole Foods. That or the Apple Store... if you're going to fail, you might as well go out flaunting the frilliest frills of civilization.

(... I kind of really want to write post-zombie-apocalypse micro-colony fiction now.)

From:

I support this writing goal and will offer suggestions too if you want the freak show variety type of ideas, of a sane individual with a completely irrational fear of zombies and thinks of escape plans often.

From:

My husband actually voted in favor of Walmart, but I still say Mall, because everything's there. Plus, there's space to hide or run or have a freaking full on battle.

Entertainment and food aplenty. If you're in the South, there will be guns, ammo, swords and knives for defensive measures as well. Also, a nice roof for helicopter landings for last minute rescues. I dunno why I've thought this out to a ridiculous degree but that's my penny worth of thoughts there.

From:

This is why each Zombie Survival Plans is personal and specific to the individual: I hate the mall, and would rather not spend my last moments there!

As a committed Foodie, I wouldn't mind dying in a Kroger, but now that I think about it: I should aim higher! Maybe a Whole Foods, or one of those other fancy markets they have downtown. I could die happy eating locally-produced cheese and organic avocados! :D

From:

LOL! Well if you're hell bent on dying, you might as well be happy when you go.

Uhm... guess my plans tend to lean towards the survival bit of things. I'd like to outlast my stay here as long as I could even if everyone's going to the zombies. :P

From:

I'm not necessarily "hell-bent": I'm just a realist. It takes a certain set of skills to survive a plague of zombies, and I wouldn't over-estimate my chances. Sure, I've got brains: but then, that's exactly what they're after, isn't it? :P

I'll make a go of it, but if worse comes to worst, I'm going out happy!

From:

switchbladesis.livejournal.com

I'm glad you are hard at work teaching today's youth the survival skills they need to get through the upcoming Horrors. Have they considered their proximity to a cemetery? It's one of the details that's often overlooked.

From:

Have they considered their proximity to a cemetery? It's one of the details that's often overlooked.

How very true! Kids of today are woefully unprepared for a potential Zombie!pocalypse. If I can save just one little life from the Hordes of the undead...

From:

That conversation is eons better than the one I had at work about 2012. (The only redeeming quality was that one of the conspiracy theorists could actually locate relevant passages in the Bible. Solid book citations always win points over over paranoid email messages and the creepy phantom faxes we seem to receive at our office.) All in all, I'd much rather have it come down to zombies. Zombies I can handle (in theory). Your students also seem better-prepared to deal with end times, once they get over the transparent hiding places. (-;

From:

I had totally forgotten about the 2012 conspiracy until Izzy brought it up. Was it the Mayans or the Aztecs who made the original prediction?

Anyway, those sorts of conversations are one of the reasons I'm happy I don't really have any "co-workers". I'd much rather discuss zombie invasions with grade schoolers than listen to some nutjob's theories about the apocalypse. (One of the perks of being an atheist, is I don't have to give a damn about the end of the world, 'cause it'll be, you know: THE END! :P)

Your students also seem better-prepared to deal with end times, once they get over the transparent hiding places. (-;

That just may have been the cutest thing one of them has ever said to me! It's at least tied with: "I accidentally borrowed your highlighter."

From:

It's not even that they predicted the end of the world... it's just that their calendar happened to end in 2012. (At least, as far as I know, there's no real Mayan prophecy of end times...) As far as that conversation went, I pretty much gave the same answer you did: Well, then the world ended, didn't it? What am I gonna do about it? Thankfully no one tried to convince me otherwise (I am probably too lost to be redeemed). I got into a bigger argument over whether the "What if you DIE TOMORROW???" fax was prophetic (it was trying to sell life insurance, but no one else got past the 72-point bold font).

Hehehe. That is why I adore children.

From:

rachel2205.livejournal.com

Your organisational skills are a turn on, baybeeee.

From: