The Stupidest Song Ever Written
May. 26th, 2011 09:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apple_pathwaysThe sleep/wake button on my iPod broke on the drive home from work today, which means I have been forced to listen to the radio, and therefore subjected to the WORST SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD in recent memory.
E.T. by Katy Perry.
Pardon my French, but HOLY SHIT is it bad! And the worst part: they play the damn thing every fifteen minutes on damn near every station! This is, I think, the stupidest part (though it's a tough call):
I know a bar out in Mars
Where they driving spaceships instead of cars1
Cop a Prada spacesuit2 about the stars
Getting stupid ass straight out the jar3
Pockets on Shrek4, Rockets on deck
Tell me what's next, alien sex5
I'ma disrobe you, than I'mma probe you6
See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do
I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do7
1 Duh...
2 Yes, that's who I want designing my spacesuit: not NASA scientists with their MIT degrees, their knowledge of conditions in a vacuum, their technical know-how--no, I want PRADA! *massive eyeroll*
3 ?
4 ??
5 What about alien foreplay?
6 Oh, fun...
7 Yeah right.
There's also this gem:
You're so supersonic
Yeah, I'm not sure "faster than the speed of sound" is a quality to brag about in a lover...
I could go on, but I'll spare you all the rest of this nonsense. But if you'd care to play along at home, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is this: Name a song even stupider than Kanye and Miss Katy's attempts at Cosmic Love.
Or, you know: just gripe about this song, music in general, or tell me something awesome you're listening to right now that I can add to my iPod after I go to the Apple Store tomorrow and they make it all better!
E.T. by Katy Perry.
Pardon my French, but HOLY SHIT is it bad! And the worst part: they play the damn thing every fifteen minutes on damn near every station! This is, I think, the stupidest part (though it's a tough call):
I know a bar out in Mars
Where they driving spaceships instead of cars1
Cop a Prada spacesuit2 about the stars
Getting stupid ass straight out the jar3
Pockets on Shrek4, Rockets on deck
Tell me what's next, alien sex5
I'ma disrobe you, than I'mma probe you6
See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do
I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do7
1 Duh...
2 Yes, that's who I want designing my spacesuit: not NASA scientists with their MIT degrees, their knowledge of conditions in a vacuum, their technical know-how--no, I want PRADA! *massive eyeroll*
3 ?
4 ??
5 What about alien foreplay?
6 Oh, fun...
7 Yeah right.
There's also this gem:
You're so supersonic
Yeah, I'm not sure "faster than the speed of sound" is a quality to brag about in a lover...
I could go on, but I'll spare you all the rest of this nonsense. But if you'd care to play along at home, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is this: Name a song even stupider than Kanye and Miss Katy's attempts at Cosmic Love.
Or, you know: just gripe about this song, music in general, or tell me something awesome you're listening to right now that I can add to my iPod after I go to the Apple Store tomorrow and they make it all better!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 02:02 am (UTC)Don't know if you have the chance for internet radio at all, but honestly, I spend most of my time listening to The Current rather than buying/finding new music for myself. Right now, it's playing Rumor Has It by Adele (and Lotus Flower came on as I was hunting for the link). It's good times.
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:11 am (UTC)Infect me with your love and
Fill me with your poison.
If I'm banging someone, the LAST thing I wanna get is infected with anything. Reminds me of the awful Central Park scene in "Angels in America."
And the poison part...yea. that's not sexy at all.
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:16 am (UTC)And you know what? Though I'm familiar with their music, I've never known what The Turtles actually looked like. I did not expect the lead singer to look vaguely like Andy Kaufman's Tony Clifton character...
I've never heard of The Current! I'll have to check it out. I spend a lot of time listening to Pandora when I'm on my computer: I mostly use my iPod in the car. My favorite Pandora station is a bit odd, though: it will go from Greg Brown (bluegrass) to Ratatat (electronic) to Adele to Led Zeppelin to Santigold to The Decemberists to LCD Soundsystem (electronic again), and then back to bluegrass. It's a weird station, but I ♥ it!
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:18 am (UTC)Normally, I will ignore the inanity of pop songs in favor of a good beat to dance to, but this? Not enough Vodka Cranberries in the world to make this song enjoyable...
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 02:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 02:27 am (UTC)I can't wait until the Apple Store rescues me from Commercial Radio Hell!
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:28 am (UTC)Yeah, I need to work on my Pandora-it's kind of obsessed with Nina Simone right now, and I don't want her gone-just not every fifth song. The current is a local station for me-so if you can't get the internet, you could just always be in Minnesota. :D :D :D
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:30 am (UTC)I also found Pandora radio so if I get bored with iTunes then I listen to that instead. It is so much better than listening to awful commercials. I feel your pain! *hugs*
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:31 am (UTC)Ah, I remember the days when I used to let men buy me drinks... :P
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:33 am (UTC)I doubt these days will ever end. If you wanna buy me a drink, go right ahead LOL.
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:34 am (UTC)Pandora rocks! Except for every once in awhile, it will either get stuck in a funk where it will play me nothing but bluegrass, or throw in some weird acoustic Chris Martin cover of a Coldplay song. Sometimes, Pandora, I feel like you just don't know me at all... :P
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:38 am (UTC)YES! I mean, come ON Pandora: I said I wanted you to find me artists that are like Regina Spektor, not play her every other track! I already own all her albums, and so don't need you to play her Greatest Hits non-stop. And yet you can only skip so many songs... (Oh, the life I lead! *dramatic pose*)
I saw that! Minnesota Public Radio. I am all about the Public Radio (I manned the phones for a local station's fundraiser once!), so I will definitely be checking it out.
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:50 am (UTC)As for awesome music, I must always recommend Alela Diane until the whole world fathoms her vocal amazingness and her facial adorableness. I'm a total sucker for "The Ocean" and thank goodness for my Pandora Station for shooing me her way. Oh, Pandora - you know me better than I know myself.
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:00 am (UTC)OOH! Thanks for pointing me to Alela Diane! Good stuff, and right up my alley. I especially love her father rocking the mandolin. (Adding her to my "Music What I Like" station.)
Pandora probably does know me better than I know myself, as it's caught on to my secret passion for crap music! It just played Duffy...
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:16 am (UTC)Songs like that are half the reason I listen to things in languages I have a low-to-barely-tenable knowledge about so much. That, and the techno is better. XD
What's so unsexy about alien probing? XD
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Date: 2011-05-27 04:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 10:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 02:21 pm (UTC)I do suspect that aliens have more to worry about from sex with us than we do concerning sex with them.
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:39 pm (UTC)Now my heart went BOOM
When I crossed that ROOM
?!%$#&#*(!????? :/
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Date: 2011-05-27 02:40 pm (UTC)Here's the lyric I hear every day from that soundtrack that drives me nuts: this is Mandy Moore singing:
"I want something that I want
Something that I tell myself I need
Something that I want
And I need everything I see.
Yeah, that's the message of consumerism that I want to be passing along to my kids :(
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 03:09 pm (UTC)Not that I'm any better. I have tons of horrific pop music in my iTunes just because I like the beats!
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:10 pm (UTC)Just pray you never have to!
Mwah ha ha ha! :P
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:13 pm (UTC)I don't know, like you said: I adore early Beatles songs, but there just wasn't much to the lyrics!
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:17 pm (UTC)When I worked for a daycare and ran their summer program, I used to drive the kids to three fieldtrips per week in the daycare bus. That's an entire summer of Radio Disney! (When I let them listen to Radio Disney, that is. Most often I figured, for the safety of all on board, it was best I have something I enjoyed on the radio and not Miley Cyrus, who is, on her own, a prescription for road rage, not to mention a bus full of screaming children.)
Those lyrics are most definitely inane. And here I thought Tangled was supposed to be all progressive and different?
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:27 pm (UTC)That particular song is the one that plays over the credits, and doubtless its the one playing on Radio Disney at this moment. The movie is pretty progressive (at least its unobjectionable) and the songs that are specific to the plot are fine. I sort of feel like whoever wrote the credits song was instructed to "write a general girl anthem". I swear the lyrics sound like they were penciled in and they were planning on coming back later and making them sound more intelligent!
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Date: 2011-05-27 03:37 pm (UTC)I want what I need,
it's a need full of want,
needfully wanting my wont,
want want want want want
NEEEEDD!!!
You think it's a hit?
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Date: 2011-05-27 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-27 07:17 pm (UTC)NWS YT vid
Date: 2011-05-27 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-28 05:19 am (UTC)I don't mind a lot of the music that they play except the country-crossover songs. They annoy me to no end - especially Taylor Swift and Lonestar. "Love Story" makes me want to hit things, and my new backstory to "I'm Already There" is that the dad is on on the run from the mob - either that or he's too busy traveling to come home to his kids so he makes up crap about being in the sunshine and the shadows.
I always turn on my iPod on the way home, and right now I'm listening to a few tracks from this year's Eurovision Song Contest. I don't know if you're into Europop, but some of the stuff is pretty fun...
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Date: 2011-05-28 06:15 am (UTC)My sister is a huge Katy Perry fan, so I've heard that song more times than I care to think about. Umm, as for female artists that are actually any good, I can't recommend Florence and the Machine enough, though you've probably heard of her already. Or My Brightest Diamond, it's the same singer who was the Queen from The Decemberists' album The Hazards of Love and she is AMAZING FANTASTICO. Lately I've been playing a lot of Amy Winehouse and Nancy Sinatra's song "Bang Bang." Good stuff.
Re: NWS YT vid
Date: 2011-05-28 09:58 am (UTC)I still appreciate Kate Perry's song if only for the Dean/Castiel video that was made using it... I do not appreciate being introduced to Kanye by way of it though.
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Date: 2011-05-28 06:22 pm (UTC)Re: NWS YT vid
Date: 2011-05-28 06:27 pm (UTC)"BA BA DA BA BA BA BIG-HEADED ASTRONAUT!"
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Date: 2011-05-28 06:36 pm (UTC)I can't stand that kind of contemporary country--I do NOT get the appeal of Taylor Swift (though young girls could choose worse singers to idolize), and...well, I don't know who this Lonestar is. The funny things is: I love country music! Bluegrass, banjos, fiddles, Loretta Lynn, Rosanne Cash, Greg Brown, etc. I just don't enjoy songs about women who are sexually attracted to tractors. :P
I don't think I particularly enjoy Europop, but then: I confess to not really knowing what it is. (It's very difficult to understand music genres these days! I try to describe the kind of music I like, and I can never quite come up with the right label.)
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Date: 2011-05-28 06:37 pm (UTC)I am MOST DEFINITELY checking out My Brightest Diamond, as I love The Hazards of Love! Thakns for the tip.
Oh, and you can't go wrong with Nancy Sinatra!
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Date: 2011-05-28 11:46 pm (UTC)If you've ever heard anything by Aqua, Ace of Base, or even the Spice Girls to an extent, then that's Europop. Most of it is more techno and dancey, as opposed to the pop of the States (Justin Bieber, Katy Perry, or even Kesha* and Lady Gaga.)
*I refuse to use the dollar sign.