In trying to decide what to buy my brother for Xmas...

[apple_pathways]

I thought it might be helpful to Google "gift ideas for men". I was wrong.

Here are some of the things various websites suggest I buy for my brother:

A flask shaped like a cell phone. A personalized gallon-sized jug of Tobasco sauce. A toaster that imprints the logo of a sports team onto the toast. "Wacky Bathroom Accessories". THE WORLD'S LARGEST GUMMY WORM. Refrigerator magnets. "The Funny Butt/Face Towel." A $5,000 CAMERA. A set of ninja throwing knives. A 25 gallon aquarium coffee table. POOP SOAP. 28 piece bathroom safety kit. "Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray". World's largest crossword puzzle. Personalized Jager Bomb shotglasses. "The wrist cubby". A pillow remote control. DESK-SIZED GUILLOTINE. A custom bobble-head doll of HIMSELF.


Honestly, I think the most insulting articles are the ones that suggest things like: "the Apple iPad!"

OH YEAH! I TOTALLY did not even think of getting him that!!! And I just happen to have this spare $500.00 I found lying in the street today...

*sigh* Socks are good, right?

Comments

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

The "bathroom safety kit" looks like something a parent would buy to child-proof their bathroom. What I found especially hilarious about that, is the site that suggested it to me first asked all kinds of demographic questions about the person I was shopping for: I specified that I was shopping for a young man who likes movies, humor, the outdoors, etc---THEN they suggested the bathroom safety kit. *facepalm*

The "wrist cubby" looks like a fanny pack/bum bag for your wrist. (I don't think I found out what country you're based in, so I don't know term you might be more familiar with!)

You sound like a thoughtful and efficient shopper! It's a tentative yes on him liking books, but a no on the comics. Jack Daniels is always a good idea! I'm gonna keep digging. I will find something--I WILL!

Oh, and the giant gummy worm: I LOVE me some gummies! But this thing just looks...wrong.

Witness:

[whitters23.livejournal.com]

THAT IS THE FUNNIEST LOOKING THINK EVER! Lololol. I love me some gummy worms too.... but that really does look wrong!

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

My brain is torn between interpreting that as a bizarre sex toy and some kind of wrong-headed chiropractic model. It is definitely not food.

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

My brain automatically went to "spawn of giant sandworm from Dune". Not food, indeed!

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

The Kwisatz Gummysnack!

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

KWISATZ HADERACH!!! Thank you! That is the term I've been trying to remember ever since I first viewed that gummy abomination.