I Am a Non-Traditional Student

[apple_pathways]

All righty, in order to preserve people's flists and not bum everybody out, I'm going to post the majority of this entry behind a cut. I'm in a confessional mood, which is rare, so hold tight.

Everyone else, enjoy this picture of a sunflower I took today:





QuickSlightly lengthy background information that I will try to keep as drama-free as possible: at 18, I started off my academic career at the University of Michigan. I had no idea what to expect, and no idea what I wanted to study; I was the first one in my family to go to college. I spent three years there that were some of the best, and the worst, years of my life. Best because I discovered my independence, met some of the best people I've ever known, and made some incredible memories. Worst, because of Major Depression and a handful of anxiety disorders.

(Here's where I take a little sidebar and say that I'm never quite sure what language to use when talking about my psychiatric illnesses. It's hard to find words to accurately describe the experiences without either inflating or downplaying the severity of them. I also don't know whether to use past or present tense; they're issues I have to this day, but no longer to the life-ruining effect they had then. I never know whether to use clinical terms, colloquial terms...basically, it's all just one hot mess, so I tend to stick to discussing specific symptoms in their appropriate context, such as now...)

I flunked out of school (twice) and took a year off, wherein I lived and worked in the same city with college friends but did not attend classes. I then transferred to Eastern Michigan University, which had the benefit of providing a bachelor's degree in the area I wanted to study (social work). I spent a couple of years there and did most of the work toward my degree. Then I had a RELAPSE (as they call it), wigged out in my last semester, and moved home for awhile to get myself together.

I have done so, and am going back to finish my last semester on September 8th. It's getting close to FREAK-OUT TIME!

So here are the classes I still need to take:

The two main ones that I will physically have to drive to the campus for are:

Sociology 462: Complex Organizations "An examination of several types of large organizations, with emphasis on the nature of bureaucratic organizations. Theoretical and empirical studies of organizational growth, recruitment, control and relations between organizations."
Sociology 304: Methods of Social Research

The other two extra requirements I need are a fine arts credit and a cross-cultural credit. I'm taking both of these courses online. They are:

Art 100: Art Appreciation
DTC 358: Food & Culture

I'm really excited about the food and culture class! I hope it isn't lame.

I REALLY hope I can make it through the Complex Organizations class, as it's a two and a half hour class on Wednesday nights. TWO AND A FRIGGIN' HALF HOURS studying bureaucratic organizations!

I've already started having all the typical back-to-school nightmares: can't find the class, it's finals day for a class I haven't attended, being stalked by a psychotic professor who wants to dissect my head; you know, that classics.

Plus there's all the anxiety stemming from the fact that I haven't been in school for two years. The good thing about my school and my program is that there's a lot of students of all ages from all parts of life (mostly female, though). I will not be the oldest one there. However, I will not fit in with the 22 year-olds anymore. It will be weird. I will be weird. Everyone will notice.

All right, that's it, ranting over; I'm off to go breathe into a paper bag and curse the fact that I quit smoking.

Comments

[sabriel75.livejournal.com]

Ahhh... darling. You can do this!

If you need to breathe into a paper bag by all means do so, but do not start back up smoking. It's not good for anxiety disorders despite what they used to believe and it's definitely not good mixed with mood modifiers.

If all else fails, don't most universities have counselors on staff for anyone who needs them and it is usually provided for students free of charge. Don't hesitate to take advantage of that service, especially because many times they can get you extensions and such that you might not be eligible for otherwise. And you have every right to take those if you need them. No one will think less of you, because most people in the college environment want to see their students succeed and make it out of there with their heads still held high.

*hugs* and *faith*

Believe in yourself!

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks for the words of encouragement! I know I'll be fine: I'm excited to go back in equal measures to my anxiety.

It's just getting so close now! And then graduation, and the looking for a job, and thinking about getting my Master's, and...

It's overwhelming! But I'll make it--just gotta get over the initial new-ness of everything.

[jacknjill270.livejournal.com]

It's your last semester, don't give up now that you're so close! You can do it! A lot of times I start thinking too far ahead in the future and freak myself out too, so you just got to take it one step at a time. Best of luck to you, and I hope your classes aren't too boring. :)

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the kind words of encouragement! And it is good advice, really; I do get in the habit of panicking about things in advance. I'll remember to take it slow, one step at a time.

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

::hugs:: You'll be fine! These days I keep finding myself wishing I could've done at least part of college with real life experience behind me. I think it'll make a big difference, that extra push that comes from really wanting to finish, rather than just sticking it out so you can finish because that's what you're supposed to do (which is sort of what I did).

I always used to struggle with those awful 2.5 hour classes. Hopefully your professor will have pity, or at least make bureaucracy semi-interesting (is that possible?). Food and Culture sounds like a lot of fun, though.

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

You know, being an "adult" with real-life experience really does make a hell of a lot of difference, and I do look forward to bringing that to my classes. I just hope I don't find myself geting impatient and rolling my eyes at all the "kids".

The one 2.5 hour evening I absolutely loved was Abnormal Psychology, because I find the subject inherently fascinating. Bureaucracy? Oh good lord, help me!

I really want to love Food & Culture, so I hope it doesn't disappoint. It sounds so much better than all of the other options I had to choose from!