apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Default)
[personal profile] apple_pathways
Oprah's giant head as a cakeSo after rambling about cake over on [ profile] ragdoll's journal, I decided that I needed a cake icon. To that end, I did an image search on google for "cake". It was then that I discovered that PEOPLE DO F'ED UP THINGS TO CAKE! (I say "to" cake rather than "with" cake, because I'd rather not implicate cake in these horrible atrocities. I LOVE YOU, CAKE!)

The giant head in the picture is Oprah. (If you don't believe me, read the little nametag.) Who thought this was a good idea?

We shall be asking ourselves that a lot as we explore:

Now, I know there is a trend right now where anything can be a cake. "Hey, my husband likes repairing old lawnmowers!" BOOM, cake! "I love my cell phone!" BOOM, cake! "It's Halloween; what's creepier than a severed arm being devoured by rats?" You guessed it! CAKE! (Yep, this one is real.)

Even though I might not want to eat replicated body parts and vermin, it was the creator's intention for the cake to be gross and scary. So I'm not talking about the cakes that are kooky and weird on purpose, but rather those that can only be described as profound errors in judgment. Such as:

life-sized Bridezilla cake
"You know what would be awesome as our cake? ME!" You got it: Bridezilla cake!
creepy baby cake
Ok, I see where they were going with this one; but did they really think this one out? Not only is the cake creepy as fuck, but you are going to have to CUT INTO YOUR NEWBORN BABY! AHHHH!
chocolate gun cake
Yep; that's a chocolate gun on a cake. No: it's not for Halloween or some western-themed birthday party. (I found it on some creepy conservative blog.)
happy birthday ronald reagan!
Speaking of creepy conservative blogs... (Yeah, this really doesn't need any commentary.)
you know what cakes don't need?  CLOWNS!
Sometimes the cake itself is fine; and then props are added... This cake comes from the homepage of a local bakery. I debated including it until I saw that ALL OF THEIR CAKES ARE PHOTOGRAPHED WITH THIS CLOWN! (I still don't believe there are people alive who genuinely like clowns...)
babies riding carrots...cake
Along the same lines, this was a delicious carrot cake, and then... I searched the web page I found this on for the context of the cake, but came up with jack. Baby shower? Birthday party? Creepy neo-pagan ritual? You decide! (My favorite part is that someone drew on hair with a marker...)

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