My family needs to be banned from the internet.

[apple_pathways]

Sorry to make two posts within about an hour of each other, but I Had to Share. :P)

One of my mother's favorite hobbies is forwarding emails. (And making ridiculous animated photo greeting cards. How does she always manage to select the very worst pictures of me for these? HOW?? She sent me a Valentine's card, photo of me--all nostrils. Seriously, the camera was going right up my nose! My mother: "Did you get the card I sent you?" Me: "Yep." Mother: "What did you think?" Me: "I think you need to get a hobby that doesn't involve emailing me pictures of myself.")

But I digress. (Should be the name of this journal...)

My uncle forwarded to my mother some very obviously Photoshopped pictures of ICEBERGS supposedly taken in LAKE MICHIGAN. *facepalm* I think it's time my mother and I had The Talk again. ("Mom, you can't get believe everything that gets forwarded through the internet...")

So, enjoy:

Just remember folks: Lake Michigan. Lake. Flippin'. MICHIGAN!

Comments

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

Yeah, uh... about those. We're kind of sorry. It turns out the giant empty hole where the Chicago Spire was meant to be has actually been flash-freezing large parts of the lake for reasons we don't quite understand. I think it has to do with the Theory of Infinite Unified Chicagos, but we haven't proven it yet. I have my alderman's word that the giant iceberg laser will be finished sometime shortly before the spring thaw, so at least there's that. (I'm hoping we'll keep the some, though... for tourists and whatnot. They are rather pretty.)

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

I should have known Chicago had something to do with this. *shakes fist*

You'd better hope the Iceberg Laser is ready by spring, or I do believe it's going to be an issue the next time the Detroit-Chicago Zombie!pocalypse Mutual Defense Contract comes up for negotiation. (I'll personally be pushing for a Giant Iceberg Laser clause.)

In other news: have you read any of the fics for thegameison_sh? I've only read the first page. I thought we were done with the object fic! I say: if the coat!fic wins, we pull a mutual flounce from the comm! (I may have to work that into the contract, too.)

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

One drawback of lasering the icebergs is that they're also full of Asian carp... and zombies. Also there's a chance we could accidentally fire on Canada, and due to atmospheric refraction because of the unusual cold around the icebergs and the migratory smog of Gary, Indiana, it's likely that it'll look like Detroit lasered Canada. Sorry... Good thing the contract's not up until after spring.

I've actually read all of them, and voted, already. I had a shorter list than usual, but there are some solidly good ones that I think will easily edge out the shaky object!fics (there was even one object!fic that I mostly liked, except the end got a little too cute. Someday, perhaps, I will figure out how one works properly and do it.)

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

You mean there's more object!fic?

I have no doubt that it can work, but I think I'm still annoyed after the whole "objects as minor characters" debacle of a few challenges ago. (A sweater, no matter how much you love it, is not a character. At least the skull used to be a person...)

/random bitterness

Also there's a chance we could accidentally fire on Canada, and due to atmospheric refraction because of the unusual cold around the icebergs and the migratory smog of Gary, Indiana, it's likely that it'll look like Detroit lasered Canada.

I don't know what you're implying. I'm pretty sure Detroit could take Canada single-handedly. You saw that Michael Moore documentary: they don't even lock their front doors!

[evilhippo.livejournal.com]

I guess I always kind of figured that Detroit and Canada (or at least Windsor) had kind of a symbiotic relationship that you'd want to maintain. If you're willing to defeat Canada for us, I'll pass word along to the laser scientists and they'll stop refining them this week.

... Until a few years ago, no one in my hometown locked their front doors either. (I wonder if that is part of the reason a lot of people think I'm actually from Canada...)

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

Aside from sending our 19 year olds over there to get drunk...I'm not sure how much of a "symbiotic" relationship we actually have. (I do know, from a friend's thesis project, that they send some of their trash to our landfills, and we send them our nuclear waste.)

We don't always lock our front door, either. We usually lock it at night, but when my brother is home, we leave it open for him. The boy is a staff sergeant (or something...) in the Marines, but he cannot hold onto a house key. Go figure.