Countdown to wank in 5...4...3...2...

[apple_pathways]

The first entry for originalfic_las was due today, and I used my first skip. I just couldn't come up with anything! I promise, though, I will do better in the future. Promise.

In the meantime, I will be voting in this round, and you should, too! There are many good reasons to do so, not the least of which is all the AWESOME WARNINGS posted with the fic!

My attention was drawn to the warnings by the lovely ladylovelace when she pointed out that one author chose to warn for: "a little language, gays (no slash)." GAYS! The author warned for GAYS! I'll have to lodge a complaint as soon as I finish laughing my ass off.

Here are some examples of the other high quality warnings on offer:

Mild innuendo
body horror
brief mention of drug lab
f/f relationships (if not your cup of tea, apologies)
The word 'shit'
hints at a male/male relationship
implied death
Adultery

I'm sure most of these people are well-meaning and just trying to be safe rather than sorry, but seriously: what word do these people live in that they really think someone is going to be shocked and appalled at "mild innuendo"??? Haven't they ever been--oh, I don't know--on THE INTERNET before? There's a lot more than innuendo out there.

And what is 'body horror'? Is it one of those "if you have to ask, you don't want to know" type of things?

TWO MORE people warned for "teh gayz".

LOL at warning for "the word 'shit'". (But did they warn for the warning???)

We now have to warn for even the MENTION of death?

And adultery? Really?

Ay yi yi!

Comments

[planejane.livejournal.com]

Here it is:

I knew he was dead soon as I stepped into the room. He simply wasn’t as… lively as he usually is, if you would excuse the pun.

You don't say.

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

I read that! I haven't started slogging through the (51!) submissions yet, but I had to read the fic that warned for OH NO TEH GHEY! The rest of the story is INSANE, too. I don't even want to know what was going on in the brain of the person that wrote it.

Someone on ladylovelace's journal mentioned the breastfeeding warning; I forgot to include that one. And I figured the "plastic surgery" warning was fair enough if there were graphic descriptions of the surgery, but I haven't read the entry yet to find out if that's the case.

YOU NEED TO BE NICE ABOUT MY NEW COMM SO THAT I CAN FEEL GOOD IF I WIN! (-;

[sabriel75.livejournal.com]

Hmmm... methinks you have have a shot!

WARNING: mentions of violence in a metaphorical, non-serious manner

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

Yay, thanks for the vote of confidence! :~)

(BTW, the warning should come BEFORE the content! I was very nearly traumatized there...)

[sabriel75.livejournal.com]

Hee!

I always try to put the really important stuff last. You know the really intellectual additions that I couldn't get in into the actual content.

BTW... your package is assembled and will be going to the post office tomorrow. And your card. How adorable and with a bit of steampunk flair. You don't want to know how many clock stamps I have! Or maybe you do and should come visit and I can show you. :D

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

*does the Happy Dance of impending packages*

Yay, you got the card! I have a whole series of those rub-on transfers from Michaels, all with different themes. (HOW DID I KNOW YOU WERE INTO CLOCKS?!? OMG, spooky!) (-;

[planejane.livejournal.com]

There are ... 50 entries? I haven't read them, and I'll bet there are plenty of good ones. It's always easy to target the ones at the extremes. That line, though! It's like something out of a Monty Python skit, and it cracks me up so much.

I hope you do win! Let us know how it's going, and if there are any worth reading. btw, I didn't get a comment notification - I just checked back this morning. Do you think it's the captcha?

[apple-pathways.livejournal.com]

There are many, many, many entries! It's a wide open field. I'm going to start reading and paring them down to my final choices for best and worst today.

That line was hilarious, in a way I'm not entirely sure was intended by the author! It should be saved in an archive for posterity.

I have no idea what's up with the comment notifications--every once in awhile they'll go kinda wonky for me, and it'll take a few hours before they show up in my inbox. Let me know if the comments never show up, and maybe I'll just have to suck it up, abolish the captcha, and deal with the spambots. (Who are all obsessed with HP, for some reason...Robots love Rowling!)

[planejane.livejournal.com]

Wasn't notified for this one either. :( I kept the page open and refreshed when I just got home.