All The Pretty Girls
Sep. 29th, 2010 02:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
apple_pathwaysThis post definitely got away from me a little bit. Nevertheless, I have loads to say on the issue, and would interested to hear what anybody else thinks.
Once again, I have an idea for a post inspired by a thread from an anon meme I occasionally browse. The original poster titled the thread "Things it's probably stupid to be insecure about." The poster describes herself as a pretty girl who likes to wear nice clothes and makeup. She also describes herself as a geek into gaming, fantasy novels, and classical music. Her problem is that she's worried that other "less pretty" girl geeks probably resent and judge her for being more attractive.
The follow-up posts she makes in response to other people's reactions tend to muddy the water even further. She insists that she doesn't judge other women because of their appearance, but as someone else pointed out, she must, as that's the entire basis for her post: she can't feel insecure that "less pretty" women will resent her looks unless she's first identified these women and deemed them less attractive. She also insists that she finds "conventional" good looks boring, and that one of the prettiest women she knows is overweight. She also throws in a curveball by announcing that she's attracted to women, and this is why she's so focused on the way other women look. (Of course, this is after denying she judges physical attraction in the first place, but we may as well take her at face value.)
Some respondents to the thread suggest that she's a troll looking to stir up outrage, but her plea got me thinking: why can't a woman call herself "pretty" without being dogpiled and verbally beaten into submission by other women?
Of course, it's true that no one likes a braggart, but then there are other points of boasting that don't receive nearly as much vitriol as a woman who calls herself attractive. You can say you're smart, talented, kind, or witty, and as long as you don't go on about it, most people would call it self-confidence. So why can't you say you're pretty?
All the talk about body image and how a focus on physical appearance affects a woman's feelings of self-worth has spawned an attitude of "love yourself, love your body" in reaction. Fat acceptance asks society to let go of their judgment for people who are overweight; women are encouraged to embrace their bodies and love themselves no matter what they look like. Cosmetic surgery receives a lot of judgment, to the point where actresses who have obviously gone under the knife will deny their surgery in the face of irrefutable before and after photos. There's a push for TV and media to be more inclusive of different looks, body types, and ethnicities.
So why is that every woman is allowed to love herself except for the one who's considered to be "conventionally" attractive? Why is she not allowed to notice and acknowledge that she's pretty?
I find Karen Gillan to be an extremely attractive woman. In Doctor Who fandom, there's a lot of consensus on that. Despite the near-universal admiration for her appearance, there is one criticism I've seen come up with a certain degree of regularity: "She needs to eat something!"
While Gillan is clearly a slender woman, I see no evidence that she's underfed. Her face is soft and rounded, her elbows and knees are padded and not overly sharp, and it doesn't appear as if her limbs were in danger of snapping in half. Basically, there's no reason to believe she starves herself or exercises excessively to maintain her appearance. (She has admitted in interviews that she hates going to the gym, and has taken to wearing high heels around the house in order to "tone up". Now, this isn't a particularly healthy attitude to have, as exercise has benefits other than weight control, but this isn't the argument people are making.)
Why the focus on her eating habits then?
Because if she's starving herself, then she's doing something wrong, and it's OK to resent her slim appearance: she's creating an unrealistic and unhealthy image of beauty and presenting it to the public as natural and desirable. If she isn't under-eating, then there's nothing to criticize: she's just another pretty woman, another genetic mutant who walks among us, and it's not kosher to hate people for something that's, essentially, out of their control.
I suspect this is part of the reason why women get so angry when another woman dares to call herself pretty. It's not OK to dislike her because you're envious of her beauty, but it is to dislike her for being arrogant and self-centered.
This isn't to say that arrogance and self-centeredness aren't bad qualities, and that it's not OK to dislike people for displaying them. I only mean that there's a disproportionate reaction to women who call themselves pretty and woman who call themselves, say: smart. (Not accomplished, which is takes more effort, but rather innate intelligence which is largely genetic.)
Where am I going with this? I don't really know. I just find it interesting. I don't really buy into the "all women are catty bitches who secretly hate each other" argument; in fact, I think those women tend to be the exception rather than the rule. However, there is a current of jealousy and insecurity that runs among women when it comes to physical appearance, and I do think that's something we can change.
How, I have no idea: but cutting other women some slack (even the shallow ones who value their appearance over any other trait), might be a start.
ETA:
I didn't want to create an entirely new entry, but I did want to include this snippet from a NY Times article about France facing sanctions from the EU:
The legal case accuses France of failing to incorporate minimum European Union standards protecting ethnic groups into national legislation, which it agreed to do under a 2004 law. While other countries are also thought to be in a similar situation, France was singled out on Wednesday with a formal letter, the first step in legal action.
I may just be in desperate need of a nap, but does anyone else find the idea of sending a letter to the entire country of France hilarious?
Dear France,
Stop expelling the Gypsies; it's not nice.
Yours Truly,
Europe xx
Once again, I have an idea for a post inspired by a thread from an anon meme I occasionally browse. The original poster titled the thread "Things it's probably stupid to be insecure about." The poster describes herself as a pretty girl who likes to wear nice clothes and makeup. She also describes herself as a geek into gaming, fantasy novels, and classical music. Her problem is that she's worried that other "less pretty" girl geeks probably resent and judge her for being more attractive.
The follow-up posts she makes in response to other people's reactions tend to muddy the water even further. She insists that she doesn't judge other women because of their appearance, but as someone else pointed out, she must, as that's the entire basis for her post: she can't feel insecure that "less pretty" women will resent her looks unless she's first identified these women and deemed them less attractive. She also insists that she finds "conventional" good looks boring, and that one of the prettiest women she knows is overweight. She also throws in a curveball by announcing that she's attracted to women, and this is why she's so focused on the way other women look. (Of course, this is after denying she judges physical attraction in the first place, but we may as well take her at face value.)
Some respondents to the thread suggest that she's a troll looking to stir up outrage, but her plea got me thinking: why can't a woman call herself "pretty" without being dogpiled and verbally beaten into submission by other women?
Of course, it's true that no one likes a braggart, but then there are other points of boasting that don't receive nearly as much vitriol as a woman who calls herself attractive. You can say you're smart, talented, kind, or witty, and as long as you don't go on about it, most people would call it self-confidence. So why can't you say you're pretty?
All the talk about body image and how a focus on physical appearance affects a woman's feelings of self-worth has spawned an attitude of "love yourself, love your body" in reaction. Fat acceptance asks society to let go of their judgment for people who are overweight; women are encouraged to embrace their bodies and love themselves no matter what they look like. Cosmetic surgery receives a lot of judgment, to the point where actresses who have obviously gone under the knife will deny their surgery in the face of irrefutable before and after photos. There's a push for TV and media to be more inclusive of different looks, body types, and ethnicities.
So why is that every woman is allowed to love herself except for the one who's considered to be "conventionally" attractive? Why is she not allowed to notice and acknowledge that she's pretty?
I find Karen Gillan to be an extremely attractive woman. In Doctor Who fandom, there's a lot of consensus on that. Despite the near-universal admiration for her appearance, there is one criticism I've seen come up with a certain degree of regularity: "She needs to eat something!"
While Gillan is clearly a slender woman, I see no evidence that she's underfed. Her face is soft and rounded, her elbows and knees are padded and not overly sharp, and it doesn't appear as if her limbs were in danger of snapping in half. Basically, there's no reason to believe she starves herself or exercises excessively to maintain her appearance. (She has admitted in interviews that she hates going to the gym, and has taken to wearing high heels around the house in order to "tone up". Now, this isn't a particularly healthy attitude to have, as exercise has benefits other than weight control, but this isn't the argument people are making.)
Why the focus on her eating habits then?
Because if she's starving herself, then she's doing something wrong, and it's OK to resent her slim appearance: she's creating an unrealistic and unhealthy image of beauty and presenting it to the public as natural and desirable. If she isn't under-eating, then there's nothing to criticize: she's just another pretty woman, another genetic mutant who walks among us, and it's not kosher to hate people for something that's, essentially, out of their control.
I suspect this is part of the reason why women get so angry when another woman dares to call herself pretty. It's not OK to dislike her because you're envious of her beauty, but it is to dislike her for being arrogant and self-centered.
This isn't to say that arrogance and self-centeredness aren't bad qualities, and that it's not OK to dislike people for displaying them. I only mean that there's a disproportionate reaction to women who call themselves pretty and woman who call themselves, say: smart. (Not accomplished, which is takes more effort, but rather innate intelligence which is largely genetic.)
Where am I going with this? I don't really know. I just find it interesting. I don't really buy into the "all women are catty bitches who secretly hate each other" argument; in fact, I think those women tend to be the exception rather than the rule. However, there is a current of jealousy and insecurity that runs among women when it comes to physical appearance, and I do think that's something we can change.
How, I have no idea: but cutting other women some slack (even the shallow ones who value their appearance over any other trait), might be a start.
ETA:
I didn't want to create an entirely new entry, but I did want to include this snippet from a NY Times article about France facing sanctions from the EU:
The legal case accuses France of failing to incorporate minimum European Union standards protecting ethnic groups into national legislation, which it agreed to do under a 2004 law. While other countries are also thought to be in a similar situation, France was singled out on Wednesday with a formal letter, the first step in legal action.
I may just be in desperate need of a nap, but does anyone else find the idea of sending a letter to the entire country of France hilarious?
Dear France,
Stop expelling the Gypsies; it's not nice.
Yours Truly,
Europe xx
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 06:21 pm (UTC)Wow, that turned into a rant. :D
no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 06:32 pm (UTC)Of course, I don't think either of us is making an argument against humility, because that's a completely different thing. Being humble means being grateful for what you have and being able to keep your opinions of yourself in perspective: being pretty being less important than not killing people, for example. ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-09-29 07:17 pm (UTC)*high-fives you*
no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 10:01 am (UTC)The media, and indeed modern pop-feminism, encourages this. Be better, they all tell us. You too can be in charge of a multi-billion dollar company! It's okay to be ruthless, you're being forced into the submissive position of niceness! (as though either submission or niceness are bad in and of themselves).
I think I'm a fucking genius. I am truly, truly arrogant about my intelligence. But that's mostly okay, because at least I'm not valuing physical attractiveness, which, as we all know, is of no value to anyone. Except every person who wants to work in any sort of media.
I am completely sick of any and all 'feminist' sentiments. What's wrong with humanism? Can't we all be people first, male/female/ungendered second?
Aaand I'm going to cut off here before I start enumerating my problems with the state of 'feminism' today.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 03:37 pm (UTC)I have a lot of problems with feminism as well, but they're mostly the problems I have with any philosophy when you spend too much time theorizing and postulating about a hypothetical world, and not enough time paying attention to what actually happens in real life. I would hope that we as a society could get to the point where we're all people first, and gendered second, but there's still too much imbalance in the way women are treated compared to men for that to be realistic. (Though I think the purpose of feminism should be to work toward that ideal as an ultimate goal, and not to "make women into men" or make women better than men.)
I'm sure you are a fucking genius, and that's why I'm glad to have you on my flist. ;)