Except they're not against all het, just explicit het-which is already setting a double standard.

Exactly! I don't like the attitude that m/m sex is automatically more explicit than m/f sex. (I even see this attitude coming from the slashers themselves--the whole "LOL, het is so vanilla!" as if gay men can't have ordinary, everyday sex.)

And yes, it is considered common and acceptable to place stories into comms without notifying the authors on ff.net. Several of my stories have ended up in archives--just none with such problematic intentions. :P