Nope, no "design a wedding dress out of toilet roll"-type games. To be honest, I would rather have played some wacky and embarrassing games, as it would have represented an attemtp to entertain us at least! Instead, there was a marriage-related word scramble game and then we played Bingo while she unwrapped the gifts. (You fill out a Bingo card with the gifts you anticipate the bride will receive, and then mark them off your card as she opens them.)

Here's how a typical wedding shower goes:

Arrive, place gift on table, make small talk with other female friends and relatives. If you're lucky, there will be something decent to eat.

Play some sort of boring shower game involving wedding trivia or humiliating the bride and groom.

Lunch. This can make or break a shower. In the case of this one: DEFINITELY BROKE IT. We had some weird sort of crock pot hamburgers.

Now it's time for 1-2 hours of gift opening, wherein the bride opens gifts that she herself has picked out and which everyone else has already seen on her registry. Bridal Bingo is usually introduced to make this part more "fun".

Cake. Again, make or break time: awesome cake at this shower! But some of the icing was dyed turquoise to match the bridesmaid dresses, and it turned everyone's mouths blue. In my opinion: bonus.

You are now allowed to leave.

I fucking hate wedding showers. And my mother and I are throwing her one in two weeks! For joy!