apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Cooking - Chef / pirate symbol)
It is time, once again, for me to get my proverbial shit together. I have deadlines coming up, a challenge running at [ profile] pulped_fictions, a fic fest ending at [ profile] sherlockmas, a new campaign to edit, and social obligations to meet.

I need to be more organized and more productive.

*sigh* Anyone else have any motivation for me?
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Schroedinger's Cat)
I had a minor twinge of agoraphobia in Dick's Sporting Goods today. I went there because I need a new combination lock, and I thought they might have a larger selection than the local hardware store. And I had time to kill. PANIC AT THE DICK'S )

Funny kid, irritating kid: a fine line. )

Going to Chicago this weekend! I'll be visiting my friend Kelly and her new family, my friend Cassie, her husband, and their 6 month old baby Ella, and Miss [ profile] evilhippo, my lovely Queen of All Things Meta and Surreal. (We'll work on the title.) The plan is to do the museums and just catch up with friends, but if there's anything super fun or super special I should check out while I'm there, do let me know.

Now, four songs I've had on constant repeat lately: Musique! )
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (OMFG)
First, I should announce that there's roughly four hours left to offer a prompt for Spring Into Sherlock over a [ profile] sherlockmas. You don't have to plan on taking part in the fest to prompt, and I'd be extra-special-excited to see any of you offer up a suggestion!

Now, down to business: we are throwing a retirement party for my father next weekend. My mother has asked me to handle "the music". She seems to think that people are going to want to dance. I...don't know how I feel about this.

So I turn to you, my dear flist, for help: suggest some music I can play. Keep in mind: the crowd will be composed of an odd mixture of family, my father's co-workers, and friends of my parents, my brother, and myself. (Also keep in mind: though I love them, my friends have No Shame and will not be afraid to Get Freaky in a brightly-lit American Legion Hall filled with pizza, beer, and old people.)

I need songs for: dancing, mingling, and General Party Atmosphere. My mom likes Beyonce; my dad is a fan of The Rolling Stones, Jimi Hendrix, and Jazz. My brother listens to hardcore rap. I am going to get drunk off my ass and pretend the entire evening isn't happening.

apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Default)
Sorry to make two posts within about an hour of each other, but I Had to Share. :P)

One of my mother's favorite hobbies is forwarding emails. (And making ridiculous animated photo greeting cards. How does she always manage to select the very worst pictures of me for these? HOW?? She sent me a Valentine's card, photo of me--all nostrils. Seriously, the camera was going right up my nose! My mother: "Did you get the card I sent you?" Me: "Yep." Mother: "What did you think?" Me: "I think you need to get a hobby that doesn't involve emailing me pictures of myself.")

But I digress. (Should be the name of this journal...)

My uncle forwarded to my mother some very obviously Photoshopped pictures of ICEBERGS supposedly taken in LAKE MICHIGAN. *facepalm* I think it's time my mother and I had The Talk again. ("Mom, you can't get believe everything that gets forwarded through the internet...")

So, enjoy: Icebergs in Lake Michigan! )
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Doctor Who...the hell cares?)
You are the Seventh Doctor
You are the Seventh Doctor
Take The Doctor Who Personality Test and Horoscope today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
You are very smart and have a certain amount of fashion sense, except you always carry an umbrella. You are attracted to jail bait, but genuinely care for them as a parent. You enjoy bursting into places as if you own them and quickly becoming the center of attention. You also enjoy reading, especially mysteries and get excited when danger is near. You are not someone anybody would want to cross. After your last teen-aged companion dies horribly, you will get caught in the crossfire of a gang war.

Snagged offa [ profile] housemaid79.

This description is eerily accurate, except for the part about the umbrella. I always forget to bring an umbrella!
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Rory & Amy Wedding Dance)
[ profile] audiopineapple was talking about the dream she had last night, and it reminded me of my own. (Forgive me for talking about dreams! I do believe this is the first time I've subjected you all to one of them, and at least it's fandom-related and therefore mildly along the lines of some of your interests?)

I dream in Doctor Who )

I got my nails done today for the wedding and, as is to be expected, the woman who did them was rather surly and put-out about it. This isn't really a problem for me: I figure if I am paying someone to scrape calluses off my feet, file my nails, and otherwise perform personal grooming activities I should damn well be able to do myself, I have no good reason to expect they should be happy about it. (At least I got to read a magazine while she did my feet. It just served to remind me how out of touch I am: it was Entertainment Weekly's "Best Entertainers of 2010" edition, and I didn't know who 4 out of the 10 entertainers even were.)

I'm never comfortable about other people grooming me, so I kept tensing up, prompting the manicurist to swat me with whatever tool she happened to be using at the time and snap, "RELAX!" (I'm not quite sure how that action is meant to relax me, but whatev.) My favorite part is when she tried to upsell me into other services:

"You know, we do waxing: eyebrow, upper lip, bikini area...RELAX! Relax...why you so tense?"

I'm sorry: it's usually under a different set of circumstances that people request to see my bikini area...

I picked up my dress yesterday from having alterations done; I just needed the straps shortened. I don't know if you can have "short shoulders", but I must, because I ALWAYS need the straps shortened on every dress I buy. I bought a new strapless bra, some "supportive undergarments", and stockings, so I think I'm all set. Wedding, here I come!
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (MST3k (Evil Co. Is in Shambles!))
Add this to the list of Wedding To-Dos: miraculously cure sudden outbreak of acne on my chin! ("Too old for acne medication, but too young for wrinkles?" When is this magic age, O Condescending Cosmetics Advertisement???)

And it's back to work today. They've cut my Tuesday hours, and trimmed off 15 minutes from my other days, which just seems petty. Oh, the joys of working for an hourly wage!

In other news, iTunes 'Genius' function, which automatically compiles playlists of my music for me, may just have changed my life. However, with the amount of information Apple needed to collect in order to activate it, combined with all the data Google already has about me, I'm pretty sure Corporate America knows a hell of a lot more about me than my own family. (I was raised by a man who believes the Peace Corps is a front for the CIA and that the FBI keeps files on all its citizens library and movie rental habits; a certain amount of paranoia comes standard issue.)

(Oh, and I am working on my playlist for [ profile] evilhippo, who offered me a counter-challenge for our ongoing string of Music Battles! She is SO MUCH BETTER at coming up with categories than I am, and this one is really fun, so I'll offer it up to everyone who might want to participate in the fun:

New Year's resolutions, the musical! At least three songs you yourself would be willing to sing in response to "What is your resolution this year?" ^_^

Other things that may have changed my life: Pickwick Dutch Tea Blend, from the ever-so-lovely [ profile] voltaires_vice. Three cups today already...

As much as I love tags, it really does strike me as quite absurd that I have one for "griping", as if there would ever be a need for it. As if someone would be reading my journal, and think, "Gee, I wonder if there's a way I could go back and read EVERY SINGLE THING AMY HAS EVER COMPLAINED ABOUT? Oh look, there is!!!"
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Merry Xmas from Kate!)
I thought it might be helpful to Google "gift ideas for men". I was wrong.

Here are some of the things various websites suggest I buy for my brother:

A flask shaped like a cell phone. A personalized gallon-sized jug of Tobasco sauce. A toaster that imprints the logo of a sports team onto the toast. "Wacky Bathroom Accessories". THE WORLD'S LARGEST GUMMY WORM. Refrigerator magnets. "The Funny Butt/Face Towel." A $5,000 CAMERA. A set of ninja throwing knives. A 25 gallon aquarium coffee table. POOP SOAP. 28 piece bathroom safety kit. "Instant Irish Accent Breath Spray". World's largest crossword puzzle. Personalized Jager Bomb shotglasses. "The wrist cubby". A pillow remote control. DESK-SIZED GUILLOTINE. A custom bobble-head doll of HIMSELF.

Honestly, I think the most insulting articles are the ones that suggest things like: "the Apple iPad!"

OH YEAH! I TOTALLY did not even think of getting him that!!! And I just happen to have this spare $500.00 I found lying in the street today...

*sigh* Socks are good, right?
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Merry Xmas from Kate!)
So, I threw a minor tantrum in a clothing store today. I think the tantrum itself was justified; it was just staged in front of the wrong audience.

A tale of retail woe in which I am CRAZY, in PUBLIC, AGAIN! )

I'm pretty sure going back to apologize made me seem even crazier than my temper tantrum did to begin with, but what else is new? Just a side effect of KEEPIN' IT REAL, YO! ;)
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Omelette)
The first entry for [ profile] originalfic_las was due today, and I used my first skip. I just couldn't come up with anything! I promise, though, I will do better in the future. Promise.

In the meantime, I will be voting in this round, and you should, too! There are many good reasons to do so, not the least of which is all the AWESOME WARNINGS posted with the fic!

My attention was drawn to the warnings by the lovely [ profile] ladylovelace when she pointed out that one author chose to warn for: "a little language, gays (no slash)." GAYS! The author warned for GAYS! I'll have to lodge a complaint as soon as I finish laughing my ass off.

Here are some examples of the other high quality warnings on offer:

Mild innuendo
body horror
brief mention of drug lab
f/f relationships (if not your cup of tea, apologies)
The word 'shit'
hints at a male/male relationship
implied death

I'm sure most of these people are well-meaning and just trying to be safe rather than sorry, but seriously: what word do these people live in that they really think someone is going to be shocked and appalled at "mild innuendo"??? Haven't they ever been--oh, I don't know--on THE INTERNET before? There's a lot more than innuendo out there.

And what is 'body horror'? Is it one of those "if you have to ask, you don't want to know" type of things?

TWO MORE people warned for "teh gayz".

LOL at warning for "the word 'shit'". (But did they warn for the warning???)

We now have to warn for even the MENTION of death?

And adultery? Really?

Ay yi yi!
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (WTF)
I got this email from the professor for my Complex Organizations class today:

Note on Exam I: Most of you did just fine on the exam, but for those who struggled and hope to do better on future exams, I have decided to establish a MINIMUM GRADE for the exam of 70%. So, if after adding the 3point curve, your score was stil below 70%, you can now record your Exam I grade as 70%. I must caution that this is a one time adjustment, and I will not be doing this on subsequent exams.

What? WHAT? I repeat: WHAT?!?

This was one of the easiest exams I've ever taken in my life! It's not enough that his lectures move at a snail's pace with a patronizing level of dumbing-down of the material; that his lectures are more or less a summary of the readings (WHY DO I HAVE TO READ THEM IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO REPEAT ALL THE SAME INFORMATION IN CLASS??); or that he gave everyone an extra 3 percentage points for the hell of it.


Fuck you, dickhead.

Now, someone tell me I'm way too worked-up over this, that I need to take a deep breath and calm down because this has nothing to do with me.

Because I want to punch this guy in the face.
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Gashlycrumb Tinies)
My brain does many things well: sarcastic comments, fractions, and crossword puzzles being some of them. There are also things my brain just can't handle. For instance: chess. I cannot, for the life of me, play chess. Oh, I know the rules and how each piece moves, I'm not a drooling idiot: but when it comes to playing an actual game, I cannot capture even one of my opponent's pieces. Even when the computer is set to "Easy" or "Beginner."

You might say: "Oh, but Amy, you just need practice!" I don't think so. You see, not only am I terrible at chess: I can't handle CHECKERS. I might manage to scoop up a couple pieces my opponent sacrifices, but in the end I'm always crushed. And I've spent my life working with children and playing games with them. I have been well and truly beaten by a five year old. Somehow, no matter how hard I try to concentrate on the whole game and think one or two moves ahead, I end up setting myself up for one of those embarrassing plays where my opponent jumps six or seven of my checkers at once.

And yet I'm unbeatable at Connect Four.

Another thing my brain doesn't do so well? Directions.

It's not that I can't read a map. I am awesome at reading maps. It's not that I can't follow directions. I can follow directions! It's just when it comes to making a mental picture in my head of how roads link up and which go where and whatnot, I am HORRIBLE.

I've always maintained I'm much more a verbal than visual person. Yet, I can look at a map detailing a route for 20 seconds and remember it for the rest of the day. It's something to do with my spatial reasoning, I'm sure of it! Even if you asked me to give you directions from my house to my work (which I could drive in my sleep) I'd get half of it wrong. I'd remember the main highways and most of the exits, but the little turns and sidestreets I can't picture until I see them.

People ask questions like: "Is it the third exit?" or "Is it next to the Taco Bell?" and I have no idea, because I don't notice things unless I'm looking for them. I can visit a store a dozen times without ever noticing what it's next to. I might know there's a bank on the corner, but I probably couldn't tell you which one. How many houses from the corner is the student co-op I used to live in? *shrugs*

All of that explanation is leading up to this: there was an accident on my usual route to school this morning. I decided, instead of slogging through it, to go another way. Bad idea. Of course, I didn't know it was a bad idea. In my head I knew this one highway linked up with another.

What I did NOT know was that they linked up much further west than I needed to go. Since I thought I knew where I was going, and I'm used to not recognizing my surroundings, it took me FOREVER to realize I had gone out of my way. I called my mother so she could look up on a map where I was, and I was 25 minutes late to class.

No, I'm sorry: 25 minutes late TO MY EXAM.

It's not that big of a deal. I'm taking a makeup on Wednesday.

When I came home for lunch before work, my mother asked, "Weren't you anxious?"

I said, "No, I knew she would give me a makeup."

And she clarified, "No, about being lost: I get so anxious when I don't know where I am. Weren't you nervous?"

I thought about it. "Mmm...not really. I get lost all the time. I'm kinda used to it."

That's me in a nutshell, folks!
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Rocky Horror)
Remember this post, where I promised to write a drabble for the first ten people who commented? Well, I am as good as my word, and they're done! (Incidentally, only three people commented, so if anyone else should want a drabble, feel free to make a request. I won't set the internet police on you if you don't post the meme on your journal in return.)

There's some fanfic "rule" out there that drabbles should be 100 words long. "Phooey!" I say. "I don't play by the rules!" So without further ado:

For: [ profile] professor_spork
Prompt: Amy/Rory: second is better than first.
Fandom: Doctor Who

Title: "When Second is Better Than First"
Word Count: 454

Amy likes to race. )

For: [ profile] curlybeach
Prompt: Amy/Rory, I want to hold your hand.
Fandom: Doctor Who (por supuesto!)

Title: "I Want To Hold Your Hand"
Word Count: 261

Amy's strides are longer than his... )

For: [ profile] rachel2205
Fandom: Sherlock...ish? [ profile] rachel2205/[ profile] apple_pathways/[ profile] team_sherlock meta fic? I don't even know...
WARNINGS: This may not make any sense.

Title: "Cashmere and Bone"
Word Count: 189

They are united in service, if not purpose... )
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Default)
Had a lovely day today: I spent it thrift store shopping for my Halloween costume. At the salvation army in Redford, I found a wedding dress that would be ABSOLUTELY PERFECT for dressing as a Calvierri girl from Doctor Who. It was of a thick, satiny ivory fabric with a swirling french pattern, long sleeves, and a very full gathered skirt with long train. There were a few too many sequins on the bodice, but overall, they were tasteful and would have blended in perfectly. The best thing: it FIT me! Perfectly! The one problem? It was $70.00. I'm sure that's a very good deal for a wedding gown, but it's a little pricey for a Halloween costume.

Calvierri girls, Vampires of Venice

What I ended up buying instead is a long black and white formal gown, the kind one might wear to prom or to be a bridesmaid. It was only $15.00, and just a little bit too big; it only needs a few tucks in the bodice, and it should fit perfectly. My plan is to be some sort of Zombie Miss America. Stay tuned for pictures.

Now here comes the dilemma:

Cut because I'm going off on a tangent again )

I welcome your input.
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Typewriter)
So, [ profile] originalfic_las, a Last Author Standing competition for writers of original fiction, has started. The prompt for the first challenge is "change". I was hoping for something a little more detailed, but I can work with this. I'm getting a few ideas rattling around my brain, I'm just waiting for them the gel into something writable.

ETA: I meant to mention that if you wanted to sign up for this challenge, you still have until Wednesday to do so!

I just want to make it through the first few rounds, get some idea of where I stand and what I'm up against, and then who knows? I'll blunt my ambitions until I have a better feel for the competition.

I know a couple folks from my flist (like lovely [ profile] ladylovelace) are signed up for the competition--holla back if you're one of them so we can commisserate and cheer each other on!

I'm also in the midst of writing something for [ profile] she_is_to_me's latest challenge. It's an AU challenge, and I'm REALLY excited about my idea, but I still don't know exactly where I'm going with the story. I also have to write my entry for the dark!fic challenge at [ profile] thegameison_sh. It's amazing how these commitments tend to snowball, isn't it?

And now, in honor of National Coming Out Day (October 11 in the US, 12 October in the UK), here is my coming out story:

Re-posted in a cleaned-up version from my old Livejournal )
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (WTF)
Just got this in my inbox:

Timely Warning to the Community

Reported Crime: Attempted Carjacking / Unarmed Robbery

At approximately 8:30 p.m. tonight in the Oakwood Guest Parking Lot, a female EMU student, reported that she was approached by two males on foot as she was sitting in her vehicle. The first male approached the victim and demanded her vehicle. The second male stood on the passenger side of her vehicle. When the victim advised she was not giving him her vehicle, the suspect pulled her from the vehicle. After a brief struggle, the suspect got into the victim’s vehicle and tried to start it. The victim struggled with the suspect some more and then started screaming for help. Two witnesses approached the victim and the suspects fled on foot. The suspects fled in a southwesterly direction from the lot. The victim’s backpack was stolen by the suspects.

So, basically I get an email like this just about every week. There is A LOT of crime that takes place on campus, which is just spiffy. (And nothing new to me; I lived in the city where my uni's located for two and a half years, and there were cops and drug raids at my building on a pretty regular basis.)

What I find most ridiculous about the whole situation is the email's subject: A Timely Warning to the Community. It just sounds so quaint, like they're going to apprise us of a change in parking restrictions for an upcoming parade.
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (PiMP)
I may be losing my mind.

I got one of those emails from Facebook that says somebody wants to be my friend. (I turned off all other notifications, as I can't be bothered.) The person's name: Stell de Galan. I'm sorry, WHO?!

Figuring this was either some kind of hoax that was going to infect my computer with cyber clap or one of those Facebook mega-users who just spend their day friending thousands of random people, I deleted the email.

And then because it's after one o'clock in the morning and I am insane, I started to THINK (always a bad idea): what if I really do know this person? What if it's an old high school classmate who's now a transvestite and this is their drag name and by ignoring them I am being horribly intolerant and bigoted and sending them into a spiral of depression? So I googled the name, and came up with: you got it, the Facebook entry. I tried to read it (without logging in), because again, CYBER CLAP, but since I am special and somehow managed to change my computer's default language to Spanish (and don't know how to change it back), I only understood about half of what the entry said.

This is the point where I realized I need to go to bed. I will possibly have to delete this entry in the morning, because between this insanity and the epic post of DRUNK, jam, and family drama I am not coming off well this weekend.

Ooh, update! I refreshed the page, and this person is "friends" with a friend of mine from college, so I can ask her what the deal is with this person (and if she has contracted cyber clap).

Good night!
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Default)
Today's post is brought to you by drunk!

Well, not exactly drunk, but certainly tipsy: which is surprising, since I've only had 2 (well, one and a half at this point) glasses of Tempranillo, and it usually takes a lot more than that to take me down. (I wasn't kidding when I said my favorite drink was red wine; YUM!)

First things first: I BE JAMMIN'! Behold! Raspberry and mixed berry jam:


Yesterday my mother and I went to pick apples and raspberries, and today I turned the raspberries into jam. I also bought strawberries and some frozen berries to make into mixed berry jam. Someday soon, the apples will be made into applesauce. (Although my mother has been stricken ill today, so it may have to be done without her help. Which reminds me...I should go check on her soon.)

Still interested in this hot mess? Follow me! )
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Double Karen)
This post definitely got away from me a little bit. Nevertheless, I have loads to say on the issue, and would interested to hear what anybody else thinks.

Once again, I have an idea for a post inspired by a thread from an anon meme I occasionally browse. The original poster titled the thread "Things it's probably stupid to be insecure about." The poster describes herself as a pretty girl who likes to wear nice clothes and makeup. She also describes herself as a geek into gaming, fantasy novels, and classical music. Her problem is that she's worried that other "less pretty" girl geeks probably resent and judge her for being more attractive.

The follow-up posts she makes in response to other people's reactions tend to muddy the water even further. She insists that she doesn't judge other women because of their appearance, but as someone else pointed out, she must, as that's the entire basis for her post: she can't feel insecure that "less pretty" women will resent her looks unless she's first identified these women and deemed them less attractive. She also insists that she finds "conventional" good looks boring, and that one of the prettiest women she knows is overweight. She also throws in a curveball by announcing that she's attracted to women, and this is why she's so focused on the way other women look. (Of course, this is after denying she judges physical attraction in the first place, but we may as well take her at face value.)

Some respondents to the thread suggest that she's a troll looking to stir up outrage, but her plea got me thinking: why can't a woman call herself "pretty" without being dogpiled and verbally beaten into submission by other women?

Thinky thought ahead. )


I didn't want to create an entirely new entry, but I did want to include this snippet from a NY Times article about France facing sanctions from the EU:

The legal case accuses France of failing to incorporate minimum European Union standards protecting ethnic groups into national legislation, which it agreed to do under a 2004 law. While other countries are also thought to be in a similar situation, France was singled out on Wednesday with a formal letter, the first step in legal action.

I may just be in desperate need of a nap, but does anyone else find the idea of sending a letter to the entire country of France hilarious?

Dear France,

Stop expelling the Gypsies; it's not nice.

Yours Truly,

Europe xx
apple_pathways: Whatever floats your boat! (Magenta (Rocky Horror))
I've finished my art assignment that's due tonight, so I'm now I can out and play tonight! My friend Katra is having a bonfire at her place, and I'm going to help her make apple streudel. Mmmm.

Last night a friend and I went to see Roseanne Cash (daughter of the late Johnny) perform. If you think you don't like country music, then I suggest giving this lady a try! This is what real country sounds like, not that ridiculous "she thinks my tractor's sexy" BS they pollute the airwaves with.

Afterwards we met up with one of her friends to go out dancing at a club where The Bang (a local DJ) was performing. I've heard a lot of good things about The Bang, but this was my first live experience. Awesome time! Joy Division, LCD Soundsystem, M.I.A., The Clash, Weezer? FUCK YEAH!

More  )

That's enough for today. I'll pick up the Book Meme tomorrow probably. (It's a good thing I'm about two weeks ahead ;)


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